Scooter
Hey Ya'll! Welcome to the new and improved Catch-A-Ride! Now with 47% more than 26% death annually. That's down from last year-hold your applause. <Ep3 - Pt1>
Whoa, unauthorized user all up in my grill! You trying to hack mah Catch-A-Ride? Uncool bro, uncool. <Ep3 - Pt1>
Authorized user accepted. Enjoy the ride and there's a Pimento Taco--a Pimentaco--in the glove box. <Ep3 - Pt1>
Thanks for using Scooter's Catch-a-Ride, beeyotch! <Ep3 - Pt1>
Great! Shove that tater-tot into another one of them engine dougies right there. <Ep4 - Pt2>
Got another cell? Kickass. Just jam it inta a fuel injector in the center of town. <Ep4 - Pt2>
Thanks for cyclin' all that stuff for me. Third degree burns are best taken in shifts. Now, to see the fruits of your loins -- this city's gonna FLY! <Ep4 - Pt3>
…Or, not. Damn. Well, now we REALLY gotta find Roland. You know what -- maybe get to Roland’s place. I think he mighta left a message there for ya. <Ep4 - Pt3>
Oh, crap, is you Hyperion? I heard all of you are robots and you eat metal out of the garbage and stuff -- knew you wired death machines would be coming for me once Roland went missing. If you're here to kill me you should probably know -- <Ep4 - Pt4>
You’ll never take me alive, you robotic sumbitch! <Ep4 - Pt4>
Wait a minute...! Well, hang me upside down from a telephone pole, cover me in honey, and leave me to a slow death at the hands of hungry spiderants -- you ain’t a Hyperion robot, you’re a vault hunter! That’s like a unicorn! <Ep4 - Pt4>
You gonna help us with this Roland situation? I heard them Crimson Raider dudes talkin’ about it. Roland told me if he ever disappeared, I was supposed ta initiate Plan B -- or, as I like to call it, Plan Turn-this-city-into-a-floatin’-ass-fortress-of-airborne-awesomeness. B. I got some fuel cells around here. You’ll need those -- oh, and you’ll need this here Eridium, too. <Ep4 - Pt4>
Head to the center a' town and plug those two fuel cells into the ignition primers. You gon’ need a third, which is why I gave you that there rid-rock -- you can buy the last cell from Earl’s black market. Careful though, Earl’s crazy--he ate one of my cars once. Yes. The whole car. Just with, like, a fork. It was awesome. <Ep4 - Pt4>
Roland said we gotta have an exit strategery just in case he ever disappeared, hence all the fuel cells and whatnot. Bummer, though -- he really wanted to meet ya. Raiders ain’t gonna last without some new blood, and given how you shot them bandits up I’d say you and blood got an extra-special relationship. Like cousins takin' a bath together. <Ep4 - Pt4>
Here's the keys to Roland's place. Hope ya find out where he's gone -- he's the ONE guy who kept spittin' in Jack's face even after New Haven, man! <Ep5 - Pt1>
The Firehawk? You mean the mass-murderin' bounty hunter?! Oh, crap -- if the Firehawk’s got him, Roland is in DEEP. You gotta get to Frostburn Canyon and rescue his ass! <Ep5 - Pt1>
So yeah, I'd be real damn careful getting Roland back from the Firehawk. They say one time a dude winged the Firehawk with a bullet -- just winged him! -- and he straight up ate the sumbitch alive. NOM NOM NOM! <Ep5 - Pt2>
Woah! You feel that?! Before he got his ass probly-killed, Roland said them quakes was cuz of some big alien Warrior thingy. Tween you and me, I think Ro-ro's gone a little cuckoo, know what I'm sayin? <Ep5 - Pt2>
Man, you are the FOURTH hottest corpse I have ever seen! <Ep6 - Pt1>
Finally Made it to the Dust, huh? You been off the Echo fer hours, thought you mighta got brained or something. But you ain’t, so yay…and stuff. <Ep6 - Pt1>
So, you an’ my sister are gettin’ along pretty well, huh? That’s cool. Course, if ya make fun of the way she looks I’ll have to tie you to a vending machine and set you on fire, but it’s cool that you guys are hangin’ out. It’s cool. It's fine. <Ep6 - Pt1>
I done told ya, without a bloodshot technical they ain't gon' let ya in. <Ep6 - Pt1>
That there's the road to the Dust -- take a good hard look at your ass, last time you gonna see if without bullets in it. <Ep6 - Pt1>
Sweet tranformable pantaloons, is that LILY? <Ep6 - Pt2>
Well I see that. Everybody said you were dead--shit, Roland said you were dead. Damn, if you ain't the fourth hottest corpse I ever seen. Wanna hear the others? Boom. Here we go. One: Commandant Steele. Two: TK Baha. Great taste in shirts. Three: this kid I knew named Franky-Frank who jumped out a building? His body actually INVERTED when he hit the ground. <Ep6 - Pt2>
Ellie’s way out in bandit country. You may haveta do some fancy drivin’ to get ta her in one piece. <Ep6 - Pt3>
Shield's down, Roland! Oh, man, somebody start getting everybody underground. <Ep8 - Pt1>
Meet me in the center of town, now! I’ma need your help real bad! <Ep8 - Pt1>
Pretty sure we can't do that without killing everyone in the city. It ain't ready to fly, Lily! <Ep8 - Pt1>
Okay, if we cycle the ignition primers, it'll get us somewhere! <Ep8 - Pt2>
Alright, I got this one -- all's you gotta do is hit the last switch! <Ep8 - Pt2>
(grunt of exertion) Alright, primers are shorting! Keep goin'! <Ep8 - Pt2>
Alright, we're primed! Everybody get ready! <Ep8 - Pt2>
This is one them moments. (Deep breath) CATCH A RIIIIDE!!! <Ep8 - Pt3>
Oh man, you best get movin', else we gonna die! <Ep8 - Pt4>
I got the shields back up, yo! We should be safe as houses. You can thank me later. <Ep9 - Pt1>
Woah woah woah, fingerlicker! Don't be bustin' holes in my ride! <Ep9 - Pt1>
This is your time for revenge, man -- GET YOU SOME! It's like the thing with the "get you some" and you did the thing -- with the thing on it. Cause it's like "get you one" and I did the thang? With the thang on it? BAM! <Ep17 - Pt4>
What? Ew. I ain't gon' do that. <Ep17 - Pt6>
Oh. Okay. That makes more sense. <Ep17 - Pt6>
Hell, girl, she already knows that. (beat.) Catch-a-familial-reconcilatiooooon! <Ep17 - Pt6>
Oh, hey, man -- Ellie and I was just talkin' bout ya. Now you…you make sure to come back alive, okay? If you can, come back with Jack's head on a pike, y'hear? <Ep17 - Pt6>
Oh, nearly forgot -- Ellie and I got somethin' for ya. Hope it helps. <Ep17 - Pt6>
I tell ya, I'll never forget the time Roland an' all them jumped over piss wash gully. Them was good times. ...Hell, man. Now I'm sad. You kill the crapoutta Jack, you hear? <BearBadNews>
Tell you what -- I'll give you a discount at my catch-a-rides if you promise me you'll ram one a' my cars straight up Jack's tailpipe, alright? <BearBadNews>
Clappy's havin' a shindig? You know, I would go, but I...ain't gonna. <ClaptrapBirthday>
You met my girl Laney? She's perfect, man: blonde, great body, distantly related to me -- but ?em fridge Rats brainwashed her. You gotta snap her outta that cannibalism crap! Bring Laney her fav'rite flowers and food, and I'm sure she'll come around. <ColdShoulder>
Oh, and if you find any porno mags, just snag those for me too. <ColdShoulder>
Yeah, Laney loves bladeflowers, man. <ColdShoulder>
I bet Laney'll stop cravin' human flesh soon as she smells them slices. Why would anyone ever be a cannibal so long as pizza exists? <ColdShoulder>
Looks like you got whatcha need to un-brainwashLaney. That is a word now. <ColdShoulder>
That's my girl! I knew you'd come back ta me sooner or later! <ColdShoulder>
I'm gonna go ahead and blame all that rage on the bein-turned-into-a-rat thing, and less on the Scooter-was-a-bad-boyfriend thing. Easier for everybody that way. Still, least we tried. Come on back. <ColdShoulder>
Friggin' rats, man. I was this close to findin' out what second base feels like! And also what second base is. <ColdShoulder>
Who the hell are those little dudes?! Laney's been shackin' up with tiny folk? That I canNOT abide! Wipe those dwarves out, man! <ColdShoulder>
Oh, crap -- 'member how I said that little skag's mom musta abandoned it? Well -- I think she just found him again! I hear skag moms eat their young -- you gotta take her out, man! <DemonHunter>
Good job savin' yer little skag buddy, man. I think logistically, that makes you its new mom or somethin'. I dunno. <DemonHunter>
You met ol' Jimbo, huh? Yeah, he's my dad. But not like a real dad, more like one of those dad's that's uh -- what's the local nomenclature? A lilly-postured-sack-of-cheese-dick-genuine-fat-ass-pants-parader I believe is the term. Should ya catch his ear, go 'head and tell him that for me would ya? <FamFuedRainbow>
Aw, that little feller looks wounded -- his mom musta abandoned him or somesuch. I'd usually recommend bussin' a cap in his cooch-mouth, but he seems nice enough -- you could get him some medicine so he stops makin' that sad-ass noise, though. <HungryScagP1>
Awww. He looks hungry. Maybe get ?im some skag chews. <HungryScagP2>
Aw -- that skag looks sad sas hell, all chained up like 'at. Maybe you could blast that chain and let him loose. Uh, 'pologies in advance if he eats yer face off. <HungryScagP2>
You found a new cave for that hungry skag, huh? He looks pretty happy. Well, as happy as a mindless killin' machine with vertical jaws and a powerful hunger for flesh can be, anyway. <HungryScagP2>
He still looks hungry, huh? Maybe some skagtongues'll fill ?im up -- just shoot enough skags in the mouth and you'll have a friggin' smorgasbord ready for him. <HungryScagP3>
You think it's weird that we're feedin' a skag parts of other skags? That feels kinda weird. <HungryScagP3>
Ol’ rover here looks waaaay too big to sleep in that lil’ shoebox anymore. You might wanna escort him to some new digs. <HungryScagP4>
You found the Happy Pig Motel, huh? Yeah, Bloodshots wiped that place out but good after Roland kicked 'em out of Sanctuary. You might be able to turn everythin' back on if you activate that steam pump. <NoVacancy>
Steam pump's not working? I see your problem -- and I'll take this slow so's you can understand -- that thing's broke as hell. Better scavenge some replacement parts from the other pumps near the motel. <NoVacancy>
Damn, son -- looks like the skags ate the hell outta that steam pump's capacitor. Better start poppin' skags until one of 'em drops it. <NoVacancy>
Ya almost got enough parts to fix that steam pump at the motel. Keep at it, man! <NoVacancy>
Damn Bullymongs love buildin' their homes on those southpaw pumps. Best kill that Mong so you can get the part ya need. <NoVacancy>
Damn Bullymongs love buildin' their homes on those southpaw pumps. Toss a grenade in that Bullymong hole -- that oughtta knock the part ya need loose. <NoVacancy>
Looks like ya got everythin' ya need to repair that steam pump -- just plug them banana boats in, and the bounty board'll be as juiced up as an Olympic athlete whose parents have unrealistically high expectations of him. <NoVacancy>
The bounty board oughtta be powered up now -- just switch 'er on and you should have a buttload a’ new jobs to take. <NoVacancy>
Thanks for fixin' up the motel! Place used to be bumpin' before the Bloodshots killed the hell up out the owner. <NoVacancy>
You got the steam thingy? Cool. These pumps used to work off some other tech, but people complained so they switched over. <NoVacancy>
Well that sure looks like the capacitor I was lookin' for. Hey, side question, is it weird when I notice the moment you pick something up? Did you know I can see you in the bathroom? Wait, was that weird? I meant it like a spying on you in the bathroom out of friendship thing. Well, eitherwhats, plug that pucker in. <NoVacancy>
Ha, you went and found the Gearbox, huh? Man, those gearboxers sure are the cat's unforsaken roar, as we're won't to say 'round here. Go 'head and plug 'er in! <NoVacancy>
Now, the valve yer lookin' for is waaaaay up at the tippy-top of that pump -- you gonna have to climb yer way up that thing like a snort-happy rid-head on a slag binge if you wanna get at it. <NoVacancy>
I'd betcha my remainin' kidney that pump right there's still got a workin' capacitor. Just flip open the volt casin' and grab that suckaduck. <NoVacancy>
Pump's ready to go, man! Just turn her on and watch the sparks fly! <NoVacancy>
Hey man, I think Roland wanted you to go check out the town of Overlook, see if you could help the people there or whatever. <OverMedMan>
Hey man, I think Roland wanted you to go check out the town of Overlook, see if you could help the people there or whatever. Them folks've been cooped up in their houses ever since they got the Shivers -- dollars to donuts they could use your help. <OverMedMan>
I'm tryin'ta write a love poem for this chick Daisy, but I need some inspiration! Somethin' to get my juice's flowin' so this poem will get her juices flowin'. Use this camera to take some pictures of some intrestin' landmarks that I could toss in the poem, would ya? <PoeticLicense>
Oh, and pick up any nudie mags you see. Never hurts to have a fallback. <PoeticLicense>
Is that a bandit spoonin' with a robot? THAT is some artsy-fartsycrap, my friend! Chicks LOVE that! That's goin' in the poem fo'sho'. <PoeticLicense>
Whoo, boy! That bandit hung hisself from his own tombstone! It's dark, it's depressin, I don't understand it. It's PERFECT! Puttin' that in the poem. <PoeticLicense>
Aw. A lone flower surrounded by blood n' stuff. I maybecould turn that into a symbol of...like, flowers. Or somethin'. It'll do. <PoeticLicense>
Alright, my poem is comPLETE! Get back here! <PoeticLicense>
Woo! Worst case scenario, I still got somethin' to pass the time. <PoeticLicense>
I recorded my sweet nothin's into this ECHO device. Just find Daisy and play it fer her. Gotta wait for her reaction, though -- I gotsta know how it went! <PoeticLicense>
Daisy, I like you a whole lot/ More than that bandit liked spoonin' that ro-bot./You are like a diamond in the rough/ Or a flower surrounded by shrapnel and stuff./I will hang myself from my own tombstone/ if in you, I can't put my bone. <PoeticLicense>
So, what'd she think? <PoeticLicense>
She didn't dig the poem, huh? I dunno, I thought it was pretty good. <PoeticLicense>
Whaaat? Pff. Psh. Hah. Please. Pff. (beat.) Just a tiny one. <SelfImage>
Shorty must DIE! That crockblocker dee-faced one of my catch-a-rides and nobody does that cept ladies I wanna bang, and me, when I'm drunk! He's hidin' in Stalker territory -- get ?im! <Swallowed>
Heheh. Shorty got ate. He's still alive, though -- ?em Stalkers got digestion tracks work slower than my brother-uncle's brain. <Swallowed>
You killed him! Funny story, I woulda had someone to do the same to you if you hadn't repaid me for that catch-a-ride you hacked. Now is that ironic, or one of those things seems like it is, but ain't, like a cripple doin'standup? <Swallowed>
Thanks again, man! That catch-a-ride hackin' you did is all in the past. I definitely will not kill you, probably. <Swallowed>
This is where the cars live! Get you one! <Scooter - CatchARide>
Let's get you rollin'! <Scooter - CatchARide>
Walkin's for suckers! Catch-a-ride! <Scooter - CatchARide>
Catch-a-riiiiide! <Scooter - CatchARide>
All the ladies say Scooter's the fastest ride in town! Catch-a--oh, I just realized that's an insult. <Scooter - CatchARide>
This the place to catch-a-ride! <Scooter - CatchARide>
Trick out yer ride! <Scooter - CatchARide>
Ain't nothin' like squooshin' bitches under your tires! <Scooter - CatchARide>
My rides may not get you there alive, but they'll get you there! <Scooter - CatchARide>
If you ain't a stickler for seatbelts, airbags, or engines that don't go boom if you push 'em too hard, you come to the right place! <Scooter - CatchARide>
Statistically, these is the safest cars on Pandora! Lemme toss some numbers at ya! Five! Twenty-three! Eight hundred six! <Scooter - CatchARide>
This is Scooter's catch-a-ride! Hit the gas and tear some ass! That sounds like I said you farted. <Scooter - CatchARide>
My rides may not be safe, reliable, or cheap, but, uh…uhm…Catch-a-ride! <Scooter - CatchARide>
This here's Scooter! I can git ya where ya need to go! <Scooter - CatchARide>
Gotta git somewhere in a hurry? Catch-a-riiiide! <Scooter - CatchARide>
Man, you still workin' on that stuff? <Scooter - Quest - During>
How goes the job? <Scooter - Quest - During>
Member that thing I asked you? To do? How's -- you still gon' do that, or… <Scooter - Quest - During>
Hey. I need stuff. <Scooter - Quest - New>
Wanna git some stuff done fer me? <Scooter - Quest - New>
Hey. I got a problem. <Scooter - Quest - New>
Sorry man, but currently my life is perfect -- I got no work for ya. <Scooter - Quest - No - New>
I'm good, man. Don't need nothin' right now. <Scooter - Quest - No - New>
Don't got no jobs at this perticular moment. <Scooter - Quest - No - New>
Whoo-ee! <Scooter - Quest - NPC - Mumble>
I'm likin' that. <Scooter - Quest - NPC - Mumble>
Son of a scrotesack! <Scooter - Quest - NPC - Mumble>
(sigh of physical relief -- like, sitting down or leaning on a table) <Scooter - Quest - NPC - Mumble>
Piece a' crap! <Scooter - Quest - NPC - Mumble>
Hey, man! If you's needin' somethin' to do, stop by my place in Sanctuary, alright?! <Scooter - Quest - NPC - Reminder>
How's that quest goin'? <Scooter - Quest - NPC - RolandDead - During>
Still bangin' on that quest? <Scooter - Quest - NPC - RolandDead - During>
Where are ya on that job I gave ya? <Scooter - Quest - NPC - RolandDead - During>
Man, if any of us was gonna get killed, I was sure it woulda been Mordecai. Roland was smart, he was careful, too…damn, now I'm sad. <Scooter - Quest - NPC - RolandDead - Idle>
You promise me you're gonna kick Hyperion's ass so hard they'll be able to taste the bootprint, right? <Scooter - Quest - NPC - RolandDead - Idle>
I hope you make them Hyperion bastards pay. I really do. <Scooter - Quest - NPC - RolandDead - Idle>
Ah, hell. <Scooter - Quest - NPC - RolandDead - Mumble>
(sigh) <Scooter - Quest - NPC - RolandDead - Mumble>
What's that doin' there? <Scooter - Quest - NPC - RolandDead - Mumble>
Hunh. <Scooter - Quest - NPC - RolandDead - Mumble>
Dammit! <Scooter - Quest - NPC - RolandDead - Mumble>
Hey, man, I need somethin'. <Scooter - Quest - NPC - RolandDead - New>
Got some work for ya. <Scooter - Quest - NPC - RolandDead - New>
Wanna gimme a hand? <Scooter - Quest - NPC - RolandDead - New>
Sorry, man. Ain't got a thing for ya. <Scooter - Quest - NPC - RolandDead - No - New>
No jobs today, man. <Scooter - Quest - NPC - RolandDead - No - New>
I'll let ya know if I's get any new jobs I need doin'. <Scooter - Quest - NPC - RolandDead - No - New>
Hey, good job and stuff. <Scooter - Quest - NPC - RolandDead - Turn - In>
Good goin', man. <Scooter - Quest - NPC - RolandDead - Turn - In>
Nice job out there. <Scooter - Quest - NPC - RolandDead - Turn - In>
Whoo-ee! My friend, you do not disappoint! <Scooter - Quest - Turn - In>
You finished with that job already? <Scooter - Quest - Turn - In>
So, how'd the job go? <Scooter - Quest - Turn - In>
Hope you been treatin' Moxxi right. Last feller who wronged her? Buried him alive quicker'n you can say lungfull o' dirt. It was SWEET! <Scooter - Quest - UI - Idle>
Hey, you seen the new HP4 turbocasters? You put them thangalangs on an F-33 chassis, and WHOOM! You got a one way ticket to... a subject of conversation you clearly got no interest in. My bad. <Scooter - Quest - UI - Idle>
Good to see a fresh face in Sanctuary -- another week, I woulda set somethin' on fire just for a change of pace. Hell, I still might. I like settin' stuff on fire, I ain't gonna 'pologize. <Scooter - Quest - UI - Idle>
You still need something, man? I mean it's cool you're just standing there. I only got like a hundred cars to fix back up that you more than likely destroyed. But nah, it's cool, what's up? <Scooter - Quest - UI - Idle>
Did you pass out in the standin' position? You seem to just be staring at me and you got this eye thing, like do you know your eye just shoots in random directions all the time? It's weird, get that checked out with Zed. <Scooter - Quest - UI - Idle>
Ha, ha, catch a ride with the WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE. I can only catch phrase for so long before it's creepy, man. I ain't married, but I ain't lookin', if you catch my drift… my drift is please leave. Now. <Scooter - Quest - UI - Idle>
I mean, I need your help and stuff, but I'm gonna ask honestly: can you read? I most certainly cannot, so let's get that outta the way right up front. But you've been staring at me for what seems like a while now. <Scooter - Quest - UI - Idle>
Have you ever heard the legend of the car-fixer-upper night vigilante? It's fabled he goes out at night and punches the crap out of villainous scum and beds, like, forty of fifty chicks a night. I mean, obviously logistically, that's a lot of people in a single bed but you have to imagine a pyramid-type scenario -- are you listening? <Scooter - Quest - UI - Idle>
Are you still reading or something? I gotta go fix cars and stuff. I mean no rush but please rush like right now. <Scooter - Quest - UI - Idle>
If I catch ya eyeballin' my sister, you'll find yourself, uh, I was gonna do a thing there about scoopin' your eyes out with a rotary torque but I lost it. Don't bang my sister is the -- thing. <Scooter - Quest - UI - Idle>
Just thought I should tell ya, no matter how much ya tip Moxxi, she ain’t gonna sex ya. Trust me on this one. <Scooter - React - Tip - Jar>
Borderlands 2: Scooter Quotes
From Orcz
