Kifflom is a deity worshipped by the Epsilon Program Members in Grand Theft Auto V
The 12 Tenets of Kifflom[edit]
1. The world is 157 years old - FACT!
2. Dinosaurs are a lie that people believe because they are weak - FACT!
3. You are happy, you just don’t know it - FACT!
4. We all come from the same tree - FACT!
5. Everyone is related to everyone else, except for people with red hair - FACT!
6. Sperm does not exist - it is a lie spread by biology teachers - along with everything else you have ever been told - FACT!
7. Men are supposed to lie with nine new partners a week. Women are supposed to lie with six, except for in July, when they must lie with five men a day - FACT!
8. Aliens exist and are present on earth. If you have a birth mark, you may be descended from Kraff, the famous Emperor of the 4th Paradigm - FACT!
9. Trees talk, but only some people hear them - FACT!
10. People who believe in something live much longer than atheists, and they have eternal life thrown in for good measure - FACT!
11. If you believe this and turn your hands and wallet over to EPSILONISM, you’ll live a happy life. Otherwise you are doomed - FACT!
12. KIFFLOM - HAPPINESS IS YOURS! KIFFLOM!
