It’s time for a sober America. Again.
What happened to the great nation of heroes that put a man on the moon and singlehandedly won the Second World War, the Australian American War and Vietnam? How did the pioneers of the world turn into obese illiterate bigots farting around in stained sweatpants grunting at reality shows?
Qne answer: Alcohol - that liquid hell that corrupts our society. We used to dominate the global marketplace - now we're getting our asses handed to us by communists! China doesn’t have beer - and, as a result, they work like mad! Can you make an iFruit phone? No? A person from China can.
It’s time to go on another temperance crusade. The last one didn’t go so well, but that was because of jazz, and now, thank God, nobody listens to that drivel. And also because they didn't have the internet back then so people got bored. The government in the 1920s was ill-equipped to monitor society and its borders. Now we've spent the last couple of decades putting ail the draconian measures in place to make this work. And Prohibition wasn’t a complete failure. It might have given birth to organized crime in America, but it also paved the way for wives to be allowed in bars, which every working man is grateful for.
Imagine how fast paced and exciting a baseball game would be without beer. Imagine how lovely a 6 hour wedding would be without wine.
Imagine the delights of Mexican food without Margaritas.
Together we can make all those dreams come true. You never have to wake up again, saying, "What did I do last night?' and then roll over to see a smiling fatso with a mole on her / his face that has hairs growing out of it Why do we need alcohol anyway? To lower inhibitions, reduce anxiety, hide from life’s problems and improve sexual confidence?
Nowadays, we now have prescription medication for all those things. Alcohol is already banned in places like Iran, the Southern counties of the Deep South and most schools and nurseries, and they’re all better places for it.
You can click on the goggles to see the sobering truth of how Americans are really perceived like
Bean Machine Coffee is proud to sponsor Prop 14