www.thepowcleanse.com is an ingame website in Grand Theft Auto V
Pow Cleanse is the new diet that's taking Los Santos by storm.
Description[edit]
The POW cleanse is the most extreme cleanse you’ll ever experience, but the results are startling.
People ask me how I came up with it.
I was overweight, eating lots of junk food, partying, hanging out with rich friends on yachts, drinking late into the night and then something changed my life -1 became a POW and was subjected to a terrifying regime of food deprivation and humiliation. By the time those Navy Seals saved us off the coast of Somalia, I had dropped 90 pounds and shed toxins and all my dignity.
Now I’ve replicated the experience into a full body cleanse that you can purchase online! Don’t be duped into spending a fortune on organic vegetables and fancy juicing machines - my cleanse achieves faster results for a fraction of the cost, and without wasting unnecessary calories on nutrients.
The POW cleanse goes the extra step - you MUST sleep on the floor in a room with a blow heater keeping it to about 105 degrees. This sweats out the toxins.
You also get a CD of relaxing sounds to pass out to, including men outside the door arguing in some frightening language and distant gunshots. I was held for 180 days, but I’ve fast tracked the ordeal for you. Using my method, you can be thin and happy in just 10 days.
“I had dropped 90 pounds, shed toxins and all my dignity.”
The POW Cleanse before and after
See what you can look like after just 10 days of the POW Cleanse.
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This cleanse WILL work for you! POW is endorsed by top Vinewood actors and models and many other successful people. You don’t need a personal trainer to get atrophied calf muscles and collar bones like coat hangers. Get that heroin chic look the healthy way. Without heroin and without calories.
Pow Cleanse Calendar[edit]
Just click on each day of the calender to learn more about each stage...
Day 1
Most cleanses ease you in - not the POW Cleanse. It takes you by surpnse. just like those insurgents took me. Eat nothing all day, and then at the end dhnk some dirty water out of a tin cup. It MUST be really dirty - full of bacteria and microbes that help you cleanse. If you cannot find some local stagnant water in a ditch near a factory, the package includes some tap water from Bangladesh that should do the trick.
Day 2
Asshole Armageddon - thanks to the bactena in the water you will be cleansing all through the night and next day. Just keep telling yourself that dysentery is nature’s detox. It’s best if you take this day off of work and spend it in the heated room. DON’T DRINK ANY WATER! You must purge everything from your system. I didn’t get any water on Day 2, you don’t either. Stay strong - it will all be worth it in the end. The POW Cleanse doesn’t just address your superficial body image issues. It digs deep into your psyche. After 18 straight hours of defecating blood and mucus, you won’t just look different: you’ll look at yourself differently.
Day 3
Drink your own urine - This sounds ndiculous but it works. It worked for me. If you have to. freeze It and make a pee smoothie or snow cone. Eskimos say “Never drink yellow snow” - that's why they’re mostly fat. You’ll be so thirsty after Day 2, it will feel like your only hope for survival. You might start to notice some fever, hallucinations or hair loss at this stage. Don’t mistake these for signs of bodily distress - it just means the cleanse is working its magic. Remember, pain is just weakness leaving the body. And also remember, homilies are great when it comes to weight loss.
Day 4
Cayenne pepper in curdled mare’s milk. It’s hard to take down, but after yesterday’s golden shandy, I promise it will be a welcome relief. If the cravings for food or water start to get too intense, whip the soles of your feet or rip off a toenail with a pair of red-hot pliers (whip and pliers not supplied).
Day 5 - 9
Grass and Grasshoppers. You are only allowed to eat raw grass, or bugs like grasshoppers if you can catch them. We recommend mowing the yard on Day 5 and collecting the lawn clippings and free protein (bugs) in a trash bag so you can dip into it whenever you feel yourself getting hungry. Note - nightly laxatives during this stage are good because you actually release toxins while sleeping, rather than spending the day on the toilet When you awake, collect your soiled sheets and bum them - ritualistic fires are part of the cleanse.
Day 10
Freedom! The sound of a helicopter, some explosions that shake everything, the excited yelling of your captors is heard, especially the big one with the lazy eye who hit you more than the others. Then quiet, and a marine comes through the door and rescues you. That’s how it will feel when you emerge from your sweaty haze to the real world.
