www.visitthealamosea.com is an ingame website in Grand Theft Auto V
Promotes tourism to the Alamo Sea
Welcome[edit]
Lifeinvader, emails, text messages, reality television... when did our lives become so cluttered? Do you sometimes wish you could unplug from it all? Do you ever long for a simpler time? A time before running water, dentistry and tobacco health concerns, when man lived out in the wilderness in a noble but futile fight for survival against the elements?
At the Alamo Sea, that time is now!
Imagine the therapeutic powers of a resort with year-round triple-digit heat, the delicate aroma of sulfur in the air, the crunch of white fishbone sand beneath the feet, the warming sight of three generations of the same family sharing a bottle of hooch around an open fire... the Alamo Sea is a vacation guaranteed to stimulate all the senses.
Don’t believe what you've heard! The Alamo Sea is the new hot spot for hipsters, thrill-seekers and people ready to live on the edge. Why go to the ocean when you can go to a lake in the desert instead? Why travel halfway around the world for danger and adventure when it exists right here on your doorstep? As you stand a couple of hundred feet below sea level, the chocolate-brown water lapping at your feet, we promise you’ll never feel further from home.
Weather[edit]
Still the same, 125F
Moderate to severe threat of earthquakes
FAQ[edit]
Your latest questions answered..
Q: I hear the locals will kidnap you, hold you hostage for 10
years, then leave you for dead at the side of the road once your
asshole has prolapsed beyond usability.
A: An urban myth. That hasn’t happened in months.
Q: I watched a documentary about how years of botulism
poisoning and pesticide run-off have destroyed the local wildlife.
Is this true?
A: Everybody wants to make documentaries about the Alamo Sea these days. It’s almost all lies. The local area is still home to a huge diversity of unique wildlife in an ever-changing state of mutation, including the Greater Spotted Three-faced Pelican, the Featherless WaterFowl and desert rats the size of pitbull terriers. It also offers some of the best and easiest fishing in the nation - they literally throw themselves onto the beach.
Q: My husband and I are thinking of visiting the Alamo Sea in the
fall. Are there any hotels?
A: The local accommodation is basic but charming - mostly comprised of trailer parks, abandoned meth labs and the hulls of boats half-submerged in mud pits. It’s all part of the unique experience.
