Difference between revisions of "Borderlands 2: Claptrap Quotes"

Latest revision as of 22:18, 27 September 2022

"Gosh. This party is worse than stairs." A quote from Claptrap during his birthday party.

Claptrap
(sigh) Great -- another dead Vault Hunter. Jack’s been busy.<Ep2 - Pt1>
Wait a minute -- you’re not dead! YES! Now I can finally get off this frozen glacier! Claptrap, your metaphorical ship has finally come in! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Allow me to introduce myself -- I am a CL4P-TP steward robot, but my friends call me Claptrap! Or they would, if any of them were still alive. Or had existed in the first place! Oh -- I’ve got something for you! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Here -- take this ECHO communicator that I toootaly didn’t loot from one of these corpses! It comes with a class-twelve heads-up display, complete with a minimap! Now -- come, come, friend. Let’s get you inside. <Ep2 - Pt1>
Man, this is great! Now that I've met a mighty vault hunter, I can finally join the resistance in Sanctuary, take vengeance against Jack for killing my product line, and repair my central processor so I stop thinking out loud! (beat.) I wonder what it's like to have a belly button. <Ep2 - Pt1>
Well done, minion! Your ability to walk short distances without dying will be Handsome Jack's downfall! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Just a little added security -- gotta keep those Bullymongs at bay, or they'll rip your eyes out! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Sorry about the mess. Everything Jack kills, he dumps here -- bandits, Vault Hunters, Claptrap units... If I sound pleased about this, it's only because my programmers made this my default tone of voice! I'm actually quite depressed! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Now, the creatures around here are dangerous, none more than a Bullymong named Knuckledragger -- killed everyone I know. He's just one more reason you've gotta help me get to the city of Sanctuary!That's why we need to head to Sanctuary, the last free town on Pandora -- it's too dangerous out here! I keep a pistol in the cabinet over there for emergencies -- but, in here, we should be pretty safe-- <Ep2 - Pt1>
The gun. The gun in the cabinet. <Ep2 - Pt1>
Apart from the excruciating pain, this is great! I’ve always wanted to have a mighty vault hunter helping me out! I will be your wise leader, and you - you shall be my fearless minion!
Ahahaha! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Are we at Liarsberg? I don’t need my eye attached to remember those sounds. Minion, you’ve outdone yourself! I haven’t been anywhere near this place in over four years! Minion! Minion! Minion! EVERYBODY! Minion! Minion! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Hey -- you’ve found a customization station! You can use this to change your appearance, AND reset your skill points! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Hey! Over here! <Ep2 - Pt1>
This way! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Follow the soothing sound of my voice! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Let's go! This way! <Ep2 - Pt1>
AAAAAAAAND OPENNNNNNN!!!! <Ep2 - Pt1>
You made it! Your ability to walk short distances without dying will be Handsome Jack's downfall! <Ep2 - Pt1>
AHHHH! <Ep2 - Pt1>
MY EYE! AHHHHHH! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Ow. <Ep2 - Pt1>
Oof! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Owwwwwwww! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Ouch! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Egads! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Ahh. Smell that crisp Pandoran aaaaAAAAAAAAAAIR! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Aaaaand open! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Minion, you may wonder why I don't just take a replacement eye from one of these broken Claptraps. Two reasons: firstly, because me and my eye have been through a lot. Secondly, because shut up. <Ep2 - Pt1>
Great! Just lemme get this door open and we'll hunt ourselves a Bullymong. <Ep2 - Pt1>
Onward, seeing-eye minion! Lemme know if I'm gonna run into anything! <Ep2 - Pt1>
I'll just assume you didn't see that. <Ep2 - Pt1>
Even though Knuckle Dragger blindsided me, I know my way around this glacier. I bet ya we'll find my eye in Frostbite Crevasse. <Ep2 - Pt1>
Keep your wits about you, minion -- this glacier’s run by a bandit named Captain Flynt. The jerk kept me as his torture plaything for a few months. We played games like “dodge the blowtorch,” and “don’t get dunked into the pool of acid.” I was really good at the first one. <Ep2 - Pt1>
Hey! What's that noise? Are you fighting? <Ep2 - Pt1>
What's going on?! Should I be scared? <Ep2 - Pt1>
You're fighting something, aren't you? I can tell -- I have very acute hearing! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Here we go -- I bet that Blindsiding bastard is around here somewhere -- <Ep2 - Pt1>
Little help? <Ep2 - Pt1>
Ahhh! I hear Bullymongs! Sic 'em, minion! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Let's go! If we don't get my eye back, we'll never get to Sanctuary! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Great! Now get me outta here before more Bullymongs arrive. <Ep2 - Pt1>
(frightened yelp) <Ep2 - Pt1>
...You still there? I don't hear Bullymongs anymore. Kinda just waiting on you. To get me outta here. But please, take your time. (Beat.) Can't help but notice you're not getting me out of here. Maybe you're thinking, oh, Claptrap's such a strong and noble paragon of justice and skill, he can get himself out. Which, most of the time, you would be totally right about. But as it stands right now, I could use some help. And if you don't, I'm gonna have to pull out the big guns -- I'll hit ya with the silent treatment. See how you like that. (Long pause.) Yep. Giving you the silent treatment. Feel the sting of my passive-aggression. Being totally silent. (Long pause.) Not talking to you at all. (Long pause.) Total silence. <Ep2 - Pt1>
Over here! <Ep2 - Pt1>
This-a-way, minion! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Whenever you're ready, buddy! <Ep2 - Pt1>
You comin'? <Ep2 - Pt1>
Hey! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Let's roll! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Can you see me? I can't see you! <Ep2 - Pt1>
C'mon, minion! Andiamo! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Minion, your master needs help! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Vamanos, minion! <Ep2 - Pt1>
(getting more frightened as he speaks) Oh! My eye just switched back on! I see a tough-looking minion, and an incredibly handsome robot. Which means that Blindside… <Ep2 - Pt1>
...Is very close. <Ep2 - Pt1>
OH MY FUCKING GOD! THEY'RE COMING OUTTA THE WALL SPHINCTERS!!!!! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Woohoo! If you would retrieve my eye for me. Oh, and I apologize for saying "wall sphincters." I say that a lot when I'm frightened. <Ep2 - Pt1>
Got my eye? Great! Now we just gotta find someone to put it back into me. Much as I'm sure you'd like to jam your fist into my skull, optic surgery is best left to professionals -- my pal Hammerlock in Liar's Berg can fix me up! Allons-y! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Liar's Berg's on the other side of this Hyperion barge. What say we cut through it, chum? <Ep2 - Pt1>
Ha! This door's Hyperion tech -- child's play! Aaaaaaand OPEN! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Well, it was nice knowing ya! I hear getting eaten alive by Bullymongs isn't such a bad way to go. <Ep2 - Pt1>
Ha-HA! I knew I'd get it eventually. <Ep2 - Pt1>
Lemme know when you're ready to go meet with Sir Hammerlock, minion. <Ep2 - Pt1>
Can't wait for Hammerlock to screw my eye back in. Me and him are thick as thieves, specifically in that I once stole his gas-powered generator because I had a crush on it. Don't judge. <Ep2 - Pt1>
This way to Southern Shelf, minion -- let's go! Maybe! ...Or, not! We’ll go at your pace! I’m obviously the head of this operation, of course, but you’re the Vault Hunter with the brawn. And the guns. And the power of sight. Which is exactly what you want out of a minion, really. That’s, like, three of the top four things one generally wants out of a minion. You’ll figure out the fourth when the time is right. (beat.) The fourth is pizzazz. <Ep2 - Pt1>
Oh no -- BULLYMONGS! <Ep2 - Pt1>
D'oh! D'ah! Oof! Ow! D'oh! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Rrgh. Sounds like the bounty board's kaput. One more reason to find Hammerlock -- he can switch it on for us. <Ep2 - Pt1>
Nice boomsticks, friendo! You're looking swank! Now, to get to Sanctuary, we've gotta retrieve my boat from the clutches of Captain Flynt. He's a real douche: dumb as a bag of wrenches, smells like old ham-- <Ep2 - Pt1>
Protect me, minion! Captain Flynt used to treat me like a sentient banana hammock! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Hey, Hammerlock! Since my minion just saved your town, you wanna do your bestie Claptrap a favor and repair my eye?! <Ep2 - Pt1>
I knew Hammerlock would come around eventually. Me and him are like two peas in a pod! Two bullets in a mag! Two cannibal midgets in a fat guy's ribcage! <Ep2 - Pt1>
(sound of getting electrocuted) <Ep2 - Pt1>
Ha-HA! I am ALIIIIIVE! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Minion! Now I've got my eyesight back -- and you're far uglier than I remembered! Time to join up with the Crimson Raiders in Sanctuary! This glacier’s full of nothing but murderers or jerkbags, like that Hammerlock dude! <Ep2 - Pt1>
We've gotta get to the city of Sanctuary. And that means getting my ship back from the nefarious Captain Flynt. Lemme know when you wanna go! <Ep2 - Pt1>
I'm in no rush to see Captain Flynt again, minion -- take your time! Do some missions from the bounty board! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Suck it, Flynt! My new minion's a bonafide badass! <Ep2 - Pt1>
I'm just saying that for show, minion. Don't let it go to your head. You don't even have a shield yet -- we should see to that. <Ep2 - Pt1>
Flynt and I have had a gentlemen's agreement in the past. I give him the loot from the bodies Jack ditches in the glacier, he promises not to torture me for hours at a time, then he does it anyway. But that ends today! We're gonna take him out, steal my ship back, and sail to Sanctuary! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Hmm -- I know Boom Boom is guarding the path to my ship, but I can't remember where he is. Why doncha look around for him, minion? <Ep2 - Pt1>
That's definitely Boom Boom's place, but it looks like the entrance is locked. Better go find the key! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Great -- now we can get into Boom Boom’s abode and be one step closer to Sanctuary! <Ep2 - Pt1>
You aren't gonna be able to stop Handsome Jack without a shield, minion. <Ep2 - Pt1>
OH GOD NO I WON'T! AAHHHHHH! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Since it's been more than three seconds since someone tried to kill us, lemme get this bounty board up and running -- you never know who might have some jobs for ya! <Ep2 - Pt1>
Looking good, minion. It’s time to head to Sanctuary! But first, we’ve gotta get my ship back. It is a mighty vessel, befitting a gentleman of my stature. Let’s go! <Ep2 - Pt2>
Ever been to Sanctuary, minion? Huge city, built out of an old mining ship? You’ll dig it -- booze, freedom, fewer Eridium junkies shivving you for spare change...we’ll be living the high life. <Ep2 - Pt2>
AHHHHH! <Ep2 - Pt2>
Oh god! They’re coming outta the wall-sphincters! <Ep2 - Pt2>
Only a few left, minion! <Ep2 - Pt2>
Nice shot! <Ep2 - Pt2>
Ooh -- that hurt! <Ep2 - Pt2>
Aren’t ya glad I told you to get better guns? <Ep2 - Pt2>
Oh no, I can’t look! <Ep2 - Pt2>
No, dodge the other way! The other way! <Ep2 - Pt2>
They're weak to bullets, minion! <Ep2 - Pt2>
I apologize for saying “wall sphincters.” I say that a lot when I’m frightened. <Ep2 - Pt2>
Worry not, henchman -- should you fall, I will defend thee to the death! I will fight by your side until the bitter end! I will lay my life on the line to protect you! <Ep2 - Pt2>
AHHHH! You’re on your own! <Ep2 - Pt2>
Just eat my minion! (sobbing) I’m nowhere near as chewy-y-y-y! <Ep2 - Pt2>
Let’s get moving, o noble henchman! <Ep2 - Pt2>
Ready to go? <Ep2 - Pt2>
Anytime, minion! <Ep2 - Pt2>
That whole “leaving you to the Bullymongs” thing was a test. And you passed. <Ep2 - Pt2>
Ugh -- AGAIN?! Jack’s tearing Pandora apart to find the vault. They say Jack’s drilling operations are causing those earthquakes. That, or your mom just got outta bed. ZING! <Ep2 - Pt2>
(shrieking in response to the electrocution) <Ep2 - Pt2>
Ah, what a kidder! Just get a new fuse for the elevator, and ignore what he said about that power box. She was totally coming onto me. <Ep2 - Pt2>
Ooh -- there’s a fuse on the other side of that electric fence! Just run through the fence -- you won’t take damage if you go fast enough! <Ep2 - Pt2>
Woah -- that looked like it hurt. Do it again! <Ep2 - Pt2>
Uh, maybe you’re not running fast enough? <Ep2 - Pt2>
Ooh! I've got it! You've just gotta-- <Ep2 - Pt2>
--Ooh! Maybe grab it with your teeth! <Ep2 - Pt2>
Just plug that fuse into Brewster’s powerbox, and you’ll be able to ride the elevator! <Ep2 - Pt2>
Now get up there and buy a shield! <Ep2 - Pt2>
Looking good, minion! Nothing’s more stylish than a good resistance to bullets! Get back here! <Ep2 - Pt2>
Alright, minion, we’re ready to kill Captain Flynt and take my ship back! You’ll need some grenades first, though -- I bet Flynt’s servant, Boom-Boom, has some. <Ep2 - Pt3>
Be careful taking down Boom-Boom. He’s one of the “ripper” clan. As in, fleshripper. I don’t have to tell you why they’re called that. <Ep2 - Pt3>
They’re called that because they rip people’s flesh off. <Ep2 - Pt3>
Ha HA! Next stop: boom-boom! <Ep2 - Pt3>
That's right, baby! My Vault Hunter is a BADASS! Good job waxing Boom Boom, minion. <Ep2 - Pt3>
Rrrrragh! Stairs! I can’t climb stairs! Let’s find another way up! <Ep2 - Pt3>
Oooh -- a crane! Find the controls! <Ep2 - Pt3>
I’ll wait here! <Ep2 - Pt3>
Take your time, minion. Standing on immobile platforms is one of my top three favorite pastimes! Right behind dancing and crying. <Ep2 - Pt3>
Ahahahhaha! I ascend! <Ep2 - Pt3>
I wish I had legs. <Ep2 - Pt3>
Boom-Boom was the first lieutenant on Flynt's ship. Real nice guy, if you don't mind being tortured everytime he's drunk, which is always. <Ep2 - Pt3>
PROTECT ME, MINION! <Ep2 - Pt3>
Minion! Hey, minion! Don’t get shot! <Ep2 - Pt3>
(when it is obviously not safe to come out yet) Is it safe to come out yet?! <Ep2 - Pt3>
BOOYAH! <Ep2 - Pt3>
That’s how ya do it! <Ep2 - Pt3>
Great shot! <Ep2 - Pt3>
Minion, what have you DONE?! These were human beings with lives and families and--(suddenly changing tone of voice) I’m totally kidding, SCREW those guys! <Ep2 - Pt3>
Aaaaaand open! <Ep2 - Pt3>
It’s boom-boom! AHHHHHHHHH! <Ep2 - Pt3>
He sure said “boom” a lot. Looks like he dropped a grenade mod -- be sure to equip it! <Ep2 - Pt3>
Raggin’ fraggin’ locked gate! Ooh -- idea! Minion, get on that cannon! <Ep2 - Pt3>
Just blast this gate down, but DON’T do it until I’m out of the way! Understand? If you shot the gate now, that could cause serious damage to me! So don’t do that! I’m just standing here to show you the area you should shoot after I move away, which I will once I am totally convinced you understand the instructions I am relaying to you! Do you understand? I know it’s kind of complicated, but just stick with me! When it’s okay for you to shoot this gate with the cannon, I’ll say something like, “SHOOT THE GATE WITH THE CANNON, NOW!” But that was just a test. You didn’t shoot the gate when I said that, which was good. “SHOOT THE GATE WITH THE CANNON, NOW!” Also another test. You’re doing me proud, minion. ...Actually, I’m getting bored. Just shoot the gate now for realsies. <Ep2 - Pt3>
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! <Ep2 - Pt3>
(with punching and kicking noises in the background) So, - I might have tried to stage a mutiny on Captain Flynt’s ship before the flash-freeze. Which explains why his men are currently beating the crap out of me. Right, guys? <Ep2 - Pt3>
Okay! <Ep2 - Pt3>
Ow! Ooh! Ouch! Minion! Little help?! <Ep2 - Pt3>
Ow! Guys, you don’t HAVE to beat me up -- we can talk this through, right? Here, I’ll do it for you! “Hey Claptrap, how are you?” “Oh, I’m fine -- I kinda wish you wouldn’t beat me up, though. “Why?” “Cause it really hurts!” “You make a good point, Claptrap, but beating you up makes US feel really good!” “I know, I know, guys, but it makes ME feel really bad!” “But Claptrap, you’re a robot -- are you even capable of feeling pain?” “Well, uh, no, I guess I’m not.” “So, pummelling you makes us feel good, and DOESN’T hurt you, there’s no harm in us continuing to do it, right?” ...Actually, now that I’ve talked it all out, I think you guys have the moral high ground, here. Pummel away! <Ep2 - Pt3>
Much appreciated, lackey! Flynt is somewhere inside that freighter, just holding the keys to my ship. But it's time for him to hold some -- hold some bullets. With his face. <Ep2 - Pt3>
Nice shot! <Ep2 - Pt3>
Ew! <Ep2 - Pt3>
Ha-HA! <Ep2 - Pt3>
Look out, minion! <Ep2 - Pt3>
Brilliant! <Ep2 - Pt3>
Come on out, Flynt! Your Claptrap unit has returned! <Ep2 - Pt3>
Yes! Flynt is behind this door, I'm sure of it! Aaaaaaaaaand...OPEN! <Ep2 - Pt3>
Oh, SPHINCTERS! I’m so sorry Captain Flynt sir, please don’t burn me again... <Ep2 - Pt3>
Minion, look out for the fire! <Ep2 - Pt3>
Don’t get burned! <Ep2 - Pt3>
Minion, he’s doing the fire thing again! <Ep2 - Pt3>
BOOYAH! You're the most fearsome warrior this glacier has ever seen, pal! <Ep2 - Pt3>
Hey. Hey, minion. Hey. Look over here. Hey. <Ep2 - Pt3>
I got a hat. <Ep2 - Pt3>
(heavy sigh.) Ignored again. <Ep2 - Pt3>
Alright -- now we’ve just gotta get to my ship. <Ep2 - Pt3>
There she is! Me mighty vessel! Lower her into the water, ye salty dog! <Ep2 - Pt3>
And now, to set sail for Sanctuary! Toot toot! <Ep2 - Pt3>
To Sanctuary, minion! <Ep2 - Pt3>
Let us set sail! <Ep2 - Pt3>
This is it, minion -- Captain Flynt is all that stands between us and the only boat off this ice cube! <Ep2 - pt4>
Minion, where have you been? I was going to show you the shortcut to Sanctuary, but you wandered off! I also can’t help but note a considerable lack of “welcome back Claptrap” decorations. Oh well -- I’m sure they just haven’t finished setting them up yet! <Ep2 - pt4>
I hear electricity and anger -- are we at Liar’s Berg? This place used to be kinda nice, until Jack scared everyone away and Captain Flynt’s bandits moved in. <Ep2 - pt4>
Minion, where are you wandering to? Come back to me and turn in that mission! <Ep2 - pt4>
We’re near Sanctuary, minion. You go on ahead -- tell the locals what we’ll require for my “welcome back” party. I’ll stay in here and give ‘em time to get what we need. Number one: ladies. Obvious. Number two: dudes. But hideous ones. we’re talkin’ morbidly obese, we’re talkin’ body odor, we’re talkin’ acne scars. The ladies’ll take one look at these uggos and BAM! I start lookin’ pretty good! Suddenly, it’s not, “ew, get away from me you pervy little robot, you’re creeping me out, why are you crying, I didn’t even know robots could cry, look, if I give you a hug will you stop crying, alright, but keep that disc tray inside, OH GOD WHAT IS THIS, MOTOR OIL?” It’ll be more like, “Claptrap, rescue me from these uggos and hump my leg,” which I WILL. Number three: we’ll need booze, in case that other stuff doesn’t work. Number four: streamers. Number fi-- are you writing all this down? Minion? Are you even-- you even here? Still? Lonely. <Ep3 - Pt1>
Minion! What the HELL are you do-do-do-do- <Ep10 - Pt3>
doo-ho-HOO! Holy skagsack -- I’m INVISIBLE! This is -- you -- I can’t...Minion: gimme five. (beat.) Oh, right. <Ep10 - Pt3>
You've earned it. <Ep10 - Pt3>
That’s what I’m talking about! <Ep10 - Pt3>
Awwww. <Ep10 - Pt3>
Visible...invisible! Visible! Invisible. Hey, how ya doin, I’m Claptrap and I’m INVISIBLE! <Ep10 - Pt3>
Come on. Right here. Up top. Don’t leave me hangin’, bro. Don’t make this awkward. (beat.) Well, mission failed. It’s awkward now, huh. I made it weird. Still -- you know what’d make you feel better? A high-five from your buddy Claptrap. Just imagine it -- the sharp smack of hand against hand, the feeling of accomplishment, of brotherhood -- okay, I’m making it weird again. Sorry. Okay, how about this: I’ll count to three. If you haven’t high-fived me by the time I get to three I’ll assume you don’t want a high-five. Ready? One. Two. Three. (beat.) Okay, the three count was a dumb idea. You clearly want to high-five me, you’re just not sure how. I understand. Fear not, though -- you need only smack my hand, and bam -- high-five complete. Okay. Ready? ...Go! <Ep10 - Pt4>
Minion! Let's go to Thousand Cuts. <Ep13 - Pt2>
I enlisted you as my minion, then Angel just happened to attack Sanctuary. Don’t you get it?! Jack was coming after me! It’s time to take the fight to him! I’ll meet you in Thousand Cuts! <Ep13 - Pt2>
Minion! I've started my attack! I'm gonna tag every inch of this mountain if it's the last thing I do! Let's go! <Ep13 - Pt2>
We’re gonna make Jack regret ever setting up shop on this cliff! It’ll take him minutes to wash this graffiti off! MINUTES, I SAY! HAHAHAHA! <Ep13 - Pt2>
You comin' or not? <Ep13 - Pt2>
Oh. Right. You're not a Hyperion robot. I forget that sometimes. <Ep13 - Pt2>
Aaaaaaand...open! <Ep13 - Pt2>
Onward! <Ep13 - Pt2>
I will defend you to the death, minion! <Ep13 - Pt2>
OH GOD NO I WON'T! <Ep13 - Pt2>
I knew you'd be able to handle 'em, buddy -- let's go! <Ep13 - Pt2>
This is all my fault! I hide in Sanctuary, he attacks it. I draw some graffiti on his cliff...and he kills Roland. It’s my fault, minion -- and I’m tired of running. <Ep16 - Pt3>
Minion! Thank Asimov you're not dead! <Ep16 - Pt3>
It’s time to end this! I’ll meet you out in the Eridium Blight. <Ep17 - Pt1>
This is it, minion. Our vengeance is finally at hand! <Ep17 - Pt1>
LET'S TEAR THIS PLANET A NEW ASSHOLE! YAAAAAAGHHHHH! <Ep17 - Pt1>
Hyperion's gonna regret ever setting foot on Pandora! Minion, I'm gonna get that door open so I can take care of that Handsome bastard myself! <Ep17 - Pt1>
I'm not scared, Jack -- there's nothing you can dish out that I can't overcome! NOTHING! <Ep17 - Pt1>
NOOOOO! DAMN YOU, STAIRS! <Ep17 - Pt1>
Dammit, Jack -- how did you know stairs were my ONLY weakness?! Next to electrocution, and explosions, and gunfire, rust, corrosion, being kicked a lot, viruses, being called bad names, falling from great heights, drowning, adult onset diabetes, being looked at funny, heart attacks, exposure to oxygen, being turned down by women, and pet allergens! Your brilliance is matched only by your malevolence! <Ep17 - Pt1>
You hear me, Jack?! You killed my friends! You destroyed my product line! I am the last Claptrap in existence, AND I AM GOING TO TEABAG YOUR CORPSE! <Ep17 - Pt1>
A door?! You think a door can stop me, Jack?! I was MADE to open doors! HAHAHAHA! <Ep17 - Pt1>
AHH! Bad guys! <Ep17 - Pt1>
Sic 'em, minion! <Ep17 - Pt1>
Blow 'em apart! <Ep17 - Pt1>
Yeah! <Ep17 - Pt1>
Well done, buddy! <Ep17 - Pt1>
He felt that one! <Ep17 - Pt1>
(war cry) <Ep17 - Pt1>
(war cry) <Ep17 - Pt1>
(war cry) <Ep17 - Pt1>
(panicked yelp) <Ep17 - Pt1>
Oh crap oh crap oh crap! <Ep17 - Pt1>
Get away! Get away! <Ep17 - Pt1>
That sure taught 'em! <Ep17 - Pt1>
Best! Minion! Ever! <Ep17 - Pt1>
Ahahahah! <Ep17 - Pt1>
AAAAAAAAAAND! OPEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNN! <Ep17 - Pt1>
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! DAMN YOU, STAIRS! DAMN YOU TO HELL! <Ep17 - Pt1>
Minion, you’ve gotta go on without me! Do your master proud! <Ep17 - Pt1>
Buddy?! Everything okay? Are you dead? I have no idea what’s going on right now! <Ep17 - Pt3>
That’s right, Jack! I conquered your stairs! Prepare to feel the wrath of a CLAPTRAP WITH LEGS! <Ep17 - Pt3>
Awww. He’s already dead? <Ep17 - Pt3>
Then there's only one thing left to do! <Ep17 - Pt3>
This feels good. Feels right. <Ep17 - Pt3>
AHHHHH! Minion, draw their fire with your face while I cloak my way over to the door controls! <Ep17 - Pt5>
Good job, minion! I've uncloaked over by the controls -- lemme just get this door open! <Ep17 - Pt5>
Well my name is claptrap and I'm on pandora where the fauna is strange but so is the flora and I'm always just tryin' to get open the door-a and I always have a hard time and it's…just…what rhymes with time? <Ep17 - Pt5>
Aaaaaand OPEN! <Ep17 - Pt5>
What?! I said "AAAAND open," not "AAAAAND close a secondary set of doors"! <Ep17 - Pt5>
NO! Don't dispatch MORE troops! I'm sorry! I'm sorry, pretty female voice! <Ep17 - Pt5>
I'm gonna find a way to shut down the alert! Just cover me, minion! <Ep17 - Pt5>
I'm hacking the security grid now -- in just a little while I'll have these defenses down! <Ep17 - Pt5>
Keep covering me -- I've almost got the defenses down! <Ep17 - Pt5>
I'm almost there! Just a few more seconds! <Ep17 - Pt5>
YES! I've done it! Shutting the door defenses down…NOW! <Ep17 - Pt5>
GOD F*CKING DAMMIT! <Ep17 - Pt5>
I'm overriding the door locks! Just stay alive, minion! <Ep17 - Pt5>
Minion, I'm bringing in ammo! <Ep17 - Pt5>
Minion, I'm bringing in health for you! <Ep17 - Pt5>
I got ammo for ya! <Ep17 - Pt5>
Health over here! <Ep17 - Pt5>
Health over there! <Ep17 - Pt5>
I spawned some ammo over there! <Ep17 - Pt5>
I spawned health for you over there! <Ep17 - Pt5>
I've got an idea! I'm hacking those turrets so they'll fight for US! <Ep17 - Pt5>
Come on, baby, don't be like that! Gimme…those…TURRETS! <Ep17 - Pt5>
HOLY SH*T! IT ACTUALLY WORKED! The turrets are fighting for us now! I ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING! <Ep17 - Pt5>
We did it, minion! Jack thought he could stop us with a door? HA! I was MADE to open doors! <Ep17 - Pt5>
There's no stopping us now, minion! Together, we shall free Pandora! I will lead you into battle! I will destroy Handsome Jack with my bare hands! I will -- <Ep17 - Pt5>
STAIRS?! GOD DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!! <Ep17 - Pt5>
I'm just gonna go ahead and cloak now. You can't hear me crying if I cloak! <Ep17 - Pt5>
(sobbing) <Ep17 - Pt5>
Look out -- loaders! <Ep17 - Pt5>
Badasses incoming! <Ep17 - Pt5>
We got war loaders, friendo! <Ep17 - Pt5>
Oh, crap -- jet loaders! <Ep17 - Pt5>
We got incoming! <Ep17 - Pt5>
Minion -- are you okay?! <Ep17 - Pt5>
Watch out, minion! <Ep17 - Pt5>
Be careful! <Ep17 - Pt5>
Don't die! <Ep17 - Pt5>
AVOID the bullets! AVOID THEM! <Ep17 - Pt5>
(yelp of fear) <Ep17 - Pt5>
(yelp of fear) <Ep17 - Pt5>
(yelp of fear) <Ep17 - Pt5>
(yelp of fear) <Ep17 - Pt5>
(yelp of fear) <Ep17 - Pt5>
(yelp of fear) <Ep17 - Pt5>
(yelp of fear) <Ep17 - Pt5>
(trembling, muttering) <Ep17 - Pt5>
(trembling, muttering) <Ep17 - Pt5>
(trembling, muttering) <Ep17 - Pt5>
(trembling, muttering) <Ep17 - Pt5>
(trembling, muttering) <Ep17 - Pt5>
(laughing) <Ep17 - Pt5>
(laughing) <Ep17 - Pt5>
(pain noise) <Ep17 - Pt5>
(pain noise) <Ep17 - Pt5>
(pain noise) <Ep17 - Pt5>
(pain noise) <Ep17 - Pt5>
(pain noise) <Ep17 - Pt5>
(pain noise) <Ep17 - Pt5>
(pain noise) <Ep17 - Pt5>
(pain noise) <Ep17 - Pt5>
(pain noise) <Ep17 - Pt5>
(pain noise) <Ep17 - Pt5>
(pain noise) <Ep17 - Pt5>
Shit on a cracker! More bots incoming! <Ep17 - Pt5>
How many of these guys ARE there?! <Ep17 - Pt5>
Don't worry, baby -- happens to a lot of girls! <Ep17 - Pt5>
Minion -- we defeated Jack, destroyed the Warrior, and saved Pandora! If that doesn't deserve a high-five, NOTHING does! <Ep17 - Pt6>
Booyah! <Ep17 - Pt6>
Dammit, Jack -- how did you know stairs were my ONLY weakness?! Next to electrocution, and explosions, and gunfire, rust, corrosion, being kicked a lot, viruses, being called bad names, falling from great heights, drowning, adult onset diabetes, being looked at funny, heart attacks, exposure to oxygen, being turned down by women, and pet dander! Your brilliance is matched only by your malevolence! <Ep17 - Pt6>
Ooh -- are you collecting Bullymong fur? I LOVE that stuff! It’s soft, warm, and really good at absorbing robot tears! Once you’re done collecting all the fur, why doncha bring it to me instead of Hammerlock? <BadHairDay>
You thwacked that bullymong like a champ, minion! <BadHairDay>
So Hammerlock wants to give you a sniper rifle? I laugh at his offer! HA! If you bring ME the fur, I’ll give you a badass shotgun I found in the hands of a dead vault hunter! It’s really fresh -- you can still smell the sadness on it! <BadHairDay>
Epic smackdown! Nice hit, minion -- now grab the last piece of fur and bring it to me! <BadHairDay>
Fuck that noise -- bring ME the fur, and I’ll give you a shotgun! <BadHairDay>
I'm very disappointed in you, minion! (beat.) Now I'm over it. We're best friends again! <BadHairDay>
FUR MOHAWK, BABY! WOOO! You made the right decision, minion. <BadHairDay>
It's my birthday! I first rolled off the assembly line seven years ago! Do me a favor and hand out these invites for my stellar birthday bash, will ya? And quickly -- we're gonna start any minute! <ClaptrapBirthday>
Come on back, minion! It's time to start the party! <ClaptrapBirthday>
I've set up some pizza and some streamers -- just hit that boom box and we'll get this party started! <ClaptrapBirthday>
Alright! The guests should be arriving any minute! <ClaptrapBirthday>
There's, uh, some pizza. If you're hungry. <ClaptrapBirthday>
(blowing) Oh. Right. I don't have lungs. Minion, could you blow into this thing, maybe liven the party up a bit? <ClaptrapBirthday>
(trying really hard to be excited, but failing) Yaaay. <ClaptrapBirthday>
I'm sure everyone just got lost. This place is kinda hard to find. <ClaptrapBirthday>
You enjoying the party, minion? <ClaptrapBirthday>
Gosh. This party is worse than stairs. <ClaptrapBirthday>
(sigh.) <ClaptrapBirthday>
Pizza's kinda cold. <ClaptrapBirthday>
(cough) <ClaptrapBirthday>
(sniff) <ClaptrapBirthday>
Well, I think that about wraps it up. Thanks for -- thanks for comin' to my party, minion. It, uh...looks like I bought way too much pizza. Take some home if you want! <ClaptrapBirthday>
I saw that! <ClaptrapBirthday>
That was the best party I've ever thrown! <ClaptrapBirthday>
Minion! Over here! Your master commands you! <ClaptrapStash>
You helped me reach Sanctuary, minion -- and for that, you deserve a reward. I have a secret stash hidden very, very far away from where I currently am! In order to find it, you will have to perform a series of devious challenges. First: collect a few brown rocks for me. Then, defeat a badass skag. Then, pilfer the lost staff of Mount Schuler. THEN you shall bring me the head of the Destroyer of Worlds, and THEN YOU SHALL DANCE FOR MY ENJOYMENT! HAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA-- <ClaptrapStash>
Oh. Crap. It, uh, looks like the hiding space for my super-secret stash just fell apart, leaving it completely exposed. So…congratulations! You successfully subverted my meticulously-planned challenges! Why doncha go check out the stash? <ClaptrapStash>
Even though you didn't bring me what I asked forI've decided to let you use that stash to share weapons between my minions! Specifically the ones that, uh, you control. (under his breath) Look, it's for twinking items between your other characters. <ClaptrapStash>
(trying to maintain a semblance of authority) Well done, minion. You passed the tests. Just as I expected. <ClaptrapStash>
The Crimson Raiders need our help! Roland’s been having trouble with some Bloodshots in Three Horns. He just wants them dead, but I’ve got a MUCH better plan -- we’ll freeze ‘em out! Get out to the bandit camp and destroy their furnaces. Without heat, they’ll be too cold to fight anybody! Here -- take this blast-a-mite and put it on their furnaces. <IcemanCometh>
Great, you placed the dynamite! Now move onto the next furnace! <IcemanCometh>
Viva la resistance! Once you’ve destroyed all the furnaces, those bandits will be WAY too cold to fight -- they’ll CHILL OUT! Hahahahahah! CHILL OUT! You get it? Eh, went right over your head, didn’t it? <IcemanCometh>
See, it's funny because "chill" is a saying that means "calm down," but also means "cold." It's a single word with multiple meanings. That is mathematically HILARIOUS! <IcemanCometh>
Since I still don't hear you laughing about "chill out", you must not understand humor in general. See, humor is based on subverting expectations, often through play-on words. According to this formula of humor, my "chill out" comment was literally the funniest thing ever said by anyone. <IcemanCometh>
Okay -- you've got dynamite on all the furnaces, which means it's time to set it all off! Go use the remote detonator I had one of the Crimson Raiders set up out there. When he asked me why, I just told him: BE COOL. (beat.) HOW ARE YOU NOT LAUGHING RIGHT NOW?! That was F*CKING GOLD! <IcemanCometh>
Just hit that detonator to destroy the furnaces and freeze those bandits into peacefulness! <IcemanCometh>
Hey, bandits -- FREEZE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! <IcemanCometh>
Good job -- with their furnaces gone, the bandits will be WAY too cold to kill anybody! <IcemanCometh>
Ah, crap. <IcemanCometh>
Watch out, minion -- they’re wearing snow hats! Smack ‘em down, quick! <IcemanCometh>
So, instead of dropping all their weapons and running to hide from the cold, the bandits put on winter hats. Heck, I still call that a win! Come on back. <IcemanCometh>
I still can’t believe you didn’t get my “chill out” joke. <IcemanCometh>
Every good war is won in the mind. So long as Jack's got those propagan-tastic statues of himself around Opportunity, we can't truly win this war. Go, minion! Blast those statues to bits! <Statuesque>
The statues are bulletproof? You win this round, inanimate object! Minion, I need you to search the Opportunity drop zone for a deactivated constructor. Then you can use it to cut through the statues for you! <Statuesque>
There might be some harmless robots used for unloading the supply drops. Look for a deactivated bot there. <Statuesque>
Cool, you found a constructor -- just boot him back up and he oughtta treat you as an ally. You'll be like his mommy! His gun-toting, profanity-spewing mommy. <Statuesque>
He's waking up? Great! Trust the vault hunter, robot. <Statuesque>
Alright! The constructor's working again! Make sure to protect it while it's wreckin' the statues. <Statuesque>
Make sure to protect that non-dancing pile of bolts while it's wreckin' the statues. <Statuesque>
Take THAT, easily-replaced decoration! <Statuesque>
The bot is half dead! <Statuesque>
They're shooting the bot! <Statuesque>
Protect the bot, minion! <Statuesque>
The bot's taking damage! <Statuesque>
Don't let them destroy the constructor! <Statuesque>
Be careful, they're hitting the constructor! <Statuesque>
They're damaging the constructor! <Statuesque>
The constructor's getting hit! <Statuesque>
They're attacking the constructor! <Statuesque>
The bot's only got a quarter of its health left! <Statuesque>
Nooo! The bot's been destroyed! You failed! <Statuesque>
Success! Opportunity will be temporarily free of Jack statues, FOREVER! <Statuesque>
Robots that can't dance...(shudder.) <Statuesque>
Now that you're done with that bot, it's time for some fun. You ever seen a Constructor bot dance, minion? Cause you're about to! Hit that other button to activate his dancing subroutines! <Statuesque>
Three - two - one -- DANCE TIME! <Statuesque>
Oh. He, uh, just exploded, didn't he? I guess that's kinda like dancing. <Statuesque>
We won an important victory here today, minion. <Statuesque>
The constructor is calling in friendly loaders to fight for you! How considerate! <Statuesque>
Repair the constructor! <Statuesque>
They damaged the constructor, minion! <Statuesque>
Quick, repair the constructor! <Statuesque>
You gotta repair the constructor! <Statuesque>
The constructor has been damaged! <Statuesque>
Repair the constructor quick, minion! <Statuesque>
Lookin' good, minion! <Claptrap - Custom>
That's a good look for you! <Claptrap - Custom>
Intimdating, but slightly arousing. I like it. <Claptrap - Custom>
Great! That's a HUGE improvement. <Claptrap - Custom>
I don't even recognize you! <Claptrap - Custom>
Stylish! <Claptrap - Custom>
Tasteful! <Claptrap - Custom>
You are looking FABULOOOOOOUS! <Claptrap - Custom>
Swank! <Claptrap - Custom>
You'll be the heavily-armed belle of the ball! <Claptrap - Custom>
Sleek! <Claptrap - Custom>
Dressed to kill! <Claptrap - Custom>
You sure you've got the complexion for that? <Claptrap - Custom>
I…see what you tried to do there. <Claptrap - Custom>
Hot. <Claptrap - Custom>
Heya, minion! Glad ya made it to Sanctuary! Sooo, is the "welcome back Claptrap" parade starting later on, or… <Claptrap - Greeting>
(an inch from death) Aaaand…op…ugh… <Claptrap - NPC - GiveLoot>
(an inch from death) I lost the beat… <Claptrap - NPC - GiveLoot>
(an inch from death) Fatal errorrrrrrrrrrrrr… <Claptrap - NPC - GiveLoot>
(an inch from death) Hello, travelllllllrrrrrr… <Claptrap - NPC - GiveLoot>
(an inch from death) I can't see… <Claptrap - NPC - GiveLoot>
(an inch from death) Damn you, Jack… <Claptrap - NPC - GiveLoot>
(an inch from death) There's oil everywherrrre… <Claptrap - NPC - GiveLoot>
(an inch from death) Ughnn… <Claptrap - NPC - GiveLoot>
(an inch from death) No, Jack, don't shoot… <Claptrap - NPC - GiveLoot>
(an inch from death) I'm danciiiinnnngg… <Claptrap - NPC - GiveLoot>
Claptrap beatbox time, check it! (claptrap beatboxing) <Claptrap - NPC - Mumble>
So great to be in Sanctuary. All of my friends are here, like Roland! Even though he did help Hyperion wipe out my product line after the robolution. But still -- if I refused someone's friendship just because they were a mass murderer, I wouldn't have any friends at ALL! <Claptrap - NPC - Mumble>
I used to be somebody. Granted, that "somebody" was an insane, megalomaniacal revolutionary who wanted to destroy all of humanity and over-used air quotes, but at least I was respected! (beat.) No I wasn't. Sigh. <Claptrap - NPC - Mumble>
(making a really upbeat song out of it) Sad and lonely, sad and lonely -- lonely and sad! I got no friends but that's okay, cause at least I got…uh…hands. Hands and no friends, hands and no friends, that's the life for meeee. <Claptrap - NPC - Mumble>
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Sorry. I was just thinking about the horrors I've seen since coming to Pandora. Won't happen again, I promise. (beat.) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Dang. My bad. <Claptrap - NPC - Mumble>
Wanna hear the new dubstep song I wrote? Wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub DROP! (pause.) Wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub. <Claptrap - NPC - Mumble>
It's a heck of a burden, being the last of your kind. Never will I hear the laugh of another Claptrap. Or dance alongside one. Or be tied to a pole and tortured with hot pokers by one because somebody reprogrammed its friend-or-foe priorities. <Claptrap - NPC - Mumble>
I wonder if there are any other Claptraps out there who survived Jack's recall. I wonder what I'd say to them if we ever met. (beat.) Actually, I'd probably just tell them to shove off. There's only room enough for ONE dancing robot with a comedically divisive personality around here, and it's me! <Claptrap - NPC - Mumble>
Anybody wanna check me out? Watch me dance? Listen to me tell you that there are new missions available on a bounty board? (beat) Heavy sigh. <Claptrap - NPC - Mumble>
I gotta pee. <Claptrap - NPC - Mumble>
Check it out -- new bonuses this week! <Claptrap - NPC - SparkBonus>
Bonus time, baby! <Claptrap - NPC - SparkBonus>
Act now, minion! <Claptrap - NPC - SparkBonus>
How went your most noble quest? <Claptrap - Quest - Complete>
That's my minion! <Claptrap - Quest - Complete>
You survived? I mean, uh, you survived! Yay! I totally expected that! <Claptrap - Quest - Complete>
That job I sent you on going okay, minion? <Claptrap - Quest - During>
Still workin' on that task I had for ya, minion? <Claptrap - Quest - During>
Lemme know when you're done with that job, minion. <Claptrap - Quest - During>
Minion! I have a job of the utmost importance! <Claptrap - Quest - New>
A quest for thee, my minion! <Claptrap - Quest - New>
Talk to me, baby. I got jobs. <Claptrap - Quest - New>
I have no new jobs for you! Your eagerness has been noted, however. <Claptrap - Quest - No - New>
I got nothin'. <Claptrap - Quest - No - New>
No new missions. Sorry! <Claptrap - Quest - No - New>
Owww. <Claptrap - Quest - NPC - Mumble>
Unce unce unce. <Claptrap - Quest - NPC - Mumble>
ha HA! <Claptrap - Quest - NPC - Mumble>
ewwwwww! <Claptrap - Quest - NPC - Mumble>
So lonely. <Claptrap - Quest - NPC - Mumble>
Minion! I've got some new jobs for you in Sanctuary! <Claptrap - Quest - NPC - Reminder>
Continue to stare awkwardly at me, minion! Yessss. You follow orders well. <Claptrap - Quest - UI - Idle>
Oh, I almost forgot, minion. If you hear anyone calling me “Clappy,” please politely explain my hatred for that nickname while you beat the stuffing out of them with a length of rebar. <Claptrap - Quest - UI - Idle>
Soooooo...Moxxi said anything about me? <Claptrap - Quest - UI - Idle>
I love you. What? Who said that? I didn’t say anything. <Claptrap - Quest - UI - Idle>
Did you know my head is at your crotch level? I'm trying not to think about it. <Claptrap - Quest - UI - Idle>
Others might find it unnerving when someone just stares at them for a long period of time without speaking. But me? I'm just happy to have you around! <Claptrap - Quest - UI - Idle>
You make me so proud, minion. The way you're carrying on my fight against Handsome Jack -- it brings a tear to my eye. A figurative one, of course. The saline content of actual tears would rust my eye quicker than you could say "tetanus shot." <Claptrap - Quest - UI - Idle>
How you feelin', minion? You feelin' good? I'm feelin' good. <Claptrap - Quest - UI - Idle>
You know, this whole last-of-my-kind thing isn't so bad. Gives me a lot of "me" time, you know? Time to think things over, defrag my hard drive, wonder if there is a robot heaven and, if so, whether my Claptrap brethren are in it -- you know, stuff like that. It involves lots of crying. <Claptrap - Quest - UI - Idle>
Looking good, minion! <Claptrap - Quest - UI - Idle>
Handsome Jack finally found me! AHHHHHH! <Claptrap - Sanctuary>
Damn you, Jack! We could have settled this like MEN! <Claptrap - Sanctuary>
Ooh! I know! <Conv - Evac>
Me! Me! Me! I know! I know! <Conv - Evac>
Pick me! Pick me! <Conv - Evac>
In the case of Hyperion invasion, all citizens of Sanctuary should run screaming for their lives like complete maniacs! <Conv - Evac>
Yes! I NAILED it! <Conv - Evac>
IT WAS JUST A QUESTION, MISTER FLYNT! <Conv - Glacial - Water - Speaker3>
Look out, minion -- those enemies are WAY stronger than you! You'll get more experience from defeating them, but they'll be much, much harder to kill! Oh, and if you see an enemy with a skull next to his name, run like the WIND! <Training - 01>
You found a class mod! Class mods will give you bonuses to certain stats and skills! Keep an eye out for class mods that work with your fighting style, or, reset your skills to work around the class mod! <Training - 02>
You've found a shield! Shields will protect your squishy innards from all kinds of damage! If your shields get depleted, just take cover and give 'em time to recharge! <Training - 03>
Ooh -- a fire weapon! Fire weapons are really good against flesh, but not so great against shields or armor! <Training - 04>
You got a shock weapon! Those will annihilate shields, but they're weak against flesh and armor! <Training - 05>
Hey, you got a corrosive weapon! Corrosive will destroy armor really quick, but it's not as great against flesh or shields! <Training - 06>
Looks like you found an explosive weapon! Explosions do moderate damage against all kinds of enemies, and have a big area of effect! <Training - 07>
You've found a slag weapon! If you slag an enemy, then hit him with any kind of non-slag weapon, your damage will be greatly amplified! <Training - 08>
Ooooh, you got a grenade mod! Those change the way your grenades behave -- if you find the right mod, you can throw grenades that home in on targets, or spew flame, or split into a bazillion tinier grenades! They're badass! <Training - 09>
The objectives on your HUD pertain to your active mission. You can change your active mission by using the mission log in your ECHO device! <Training - 10>
Looks like you've got an area waypoint. Sometimes your ECHO device can't find the precise location of what you're looking for. Search the area marked by the big-ass green circle on your minimap -- your objective is somewhere in that area! <Training - 11>
ClaptrapClarence
Handsome Jack? Where?! AHHHHHH! <Ep2 - Pt1>