Borderlands 2: Pirate DLC Leaked Dialog

The following Dialog was leaked allegedly belonging to the Pirate's Booty DLC in Borderlands 2:

Prologue: [orchid_vo_prologue_0010_live_thekid] "A long time ago, there was a big pile of treasure in the desert, and the vault hunters found it and killed all the bad guys the end."

[orchid_vo_prologue_0020_live_marcus] "No, no no -- that's not how you start a story!"

[orchid_vo_prologue_0030_live_thekid] "I thought it was pretty good."

[orchid_vo_prologue_0040_live_marcus] "And I think you're not getting fed this week. No, this is how you start a story: legends speak of Captain Blade's Lost Treasure of the Sands. Of a prize so great, that men would turn the sands red in pursuit of it. Of a pirate queen, courageous and deadly, who would stop at nothing to find it. Of a monstrous Leviathan. Of the Vault Hunters who journeyed to the desert town of Oasis, not knowing the horrors that would befall them. See? That's how ya do it."

[orchid_vo_prologue_0050_live_thekid] "Mine was more succinct."

[orchid_vo_prologue_0060_live_marcus] "Your life's gonna be succinct, you dirty little orphan."

[orchid_vo_prologue_0070_live_thekid] "Dude. Too far."

[orchid_vo_prologue_0080_live_marcus] "Sorry."

Chapter 1: [orchid_vo_chapter1_0007_echox_nobeard] "[pain grunt]"

[orchid_vo_chapter1_0008_echox_nobeard] "[pain grunt]"

[orchid_vo_chapter1_0009_echox_nobeard] "[pain grunt]"

[orchid_vo_chapter1_0010_echo_shade] "Welcome to my lovely town of Oasis, stranger. Now, if you could please SAVE ME FROM THE FILTHY SAND PIRATES TRYING TO STEAL MY WATER!"

[orchid_vo_chapter1_0010_echox_nobeard] "[pain grunt]"

[orchid_vo_chapter1_0011_echox_nobeard] "[pain grunt]"

[orchid_vo_chapter1_0012_echox_nobeard] "Die, lillyliver!"

[orchid_vo_chapter1_0013_echox_nobeard] "Shove off!"

[orchid_vo_chapter1_0014_echox_nobeard] "This is our turf!"

[orchid_vo_chapter1_0015_echox_nobeard] "Stay outta Oasis!"

[orchid_vo_chapter1_0016_echox_nobeard] "It's a bloody Vault Hunter!"

[orchid_vo_chapter1_0020_echox_nobeard] "Hey, Shade! Give us the water and Sandman won't use your ribcage like a hat rack!"

[orchid_vo_chapter1_0040_echox_shade] "Thank you so very much, my friend! Yes, yesyesyes! Now that my water is safe, let us chat in person! Like people."

[orchid_vo_chapter1_0050_live_shade] "I am Shade, and you -- YOU are the coolest person I have ever seen. Please don't go. Please."

[orchid_vo_chapter1_0060_echox_shade] "The townspeople of Oasis thank you."

[orchid_vo_pickups_0010_echo_scarlett] "What's that ruckus coming from Oasis? Oh -- is that a Vault Hunter I see? I'm Captain Scarlett, and something tells me you're here for the treasure, same as I am. So, we've got two options: we can work together and split the treasure, or we could just try to kill one another. Or maybe both! Come find me in Wurmwater, yeah?"

Chapter 2: [orchid_vo_chapter2_0010_echox_shade] "If you're looking for the treasure of the sands, you want to talk to Captain Scarlett. She's set up in Wurmwater -- you'll need a sand-skiff to reach her. Use mine -- it is the least I can do for the stranger who saved the many living people of my town! Oh, you're so cool."

[orchid_vo_chapter2_0020_echox_shade] "Oh no, did my sandskiff just randomly explode, forcing you to stay in Oasis and hang out with me some more? Darn. Well, my other friends out in the flats might have some sandskiff parts for you. They are very nice and alive. Go talk to them, but be careful -- if you step on the flat sands out there, the sand grubs will hear you and eat you and then you won't be able to hang out with me."

[orchid_vo_chapter2_0030_echo_shade] "[as Lionel] Why hello, person! I am feeling very good today and not dead from thirst! How are you?"

[orchid_vo_chapter2_0040_echox_shade] "[as Shade] Ah, you've met Lionel! How are you, Lionel?"

[orchid_vo_chapter2_0050_echo_shade] "[as Lionel] Not dead of thirst, ha hahaha! Ha!"

[orchid_vo_chapter2_0060_echox_shade] "[as Shade] Oh, tell me about it. How is your family?"

[orchid_vo_chapter2_0070_echox_shade] "[as Lionel] Well, they --"

[orchid_vo_chapter2_0080_echox_robotvoice] "END OF TAPE."

[orchid_vo_chapter2_0090_echox_shade] "[as Shade] That is a great story, Lionel. Friend, I believe he has an engine capacitor stashed somewhere nearby! It's yours!"

[orchid_vo_chapter2_0100_echox_shade] "[as Missus Blayvis] Oh my word! A new person has left Oasis to come to talk to me! And this person is so handsome, too!"

[orchid_vo_chapter2_0110_echox_shade] "[as Shade] Oh, that is Missus Blayvis -- be careful, she is a relentless flirt. I always feel like a piece of meat around her. I gave her a coolant disperser several weeks ago, as a gift! Take it!"

[orchid_vo_chapter2_0120_echo_shade] "[as Missus Blayvis] Could I please be getting some fries with that shake? You are attractive."

[orchid_vo_chapter2_0130_echox_shade] "Only a few more sandskiff parts, and you'll be on your way to Captain Scarlett and the lost treasure! How fun, that you'll be leaving me all alone! Heh. Heheh."

[orchid_vo_chapter2_0140_echox_shade] "[as Jocko] Well a-hey, how you doing?! They call me Jocko the Joker, I'm a laugh a minute! Hey, what's the difference between a skag and a lack of water? There isn't one because they'll both kill you! Hahaha!"

[orchid_vo_chapter2_0150_echox_shade] "[as Shade] Ahahaha! Oh, he is a cut-up! Oh gosh, Jocko! Jocko borrowed one of my pressure regulators for one of his comedy bits the other day! Find it and it is yours!"

[orchid_vo_chapter2_0160_echo_shade] "[as Jennifer] Hi there, dude! I'm Jennifer! Clothes and boys and high school and gossip!"

[orchid_vo_chapter2_0170_echo_shade] "[as Shade] That's Jennifer -- a nice girl, but very naive. I think she has a magnetic overthruster you could use for the sandskiff."

[orchid_vo_chapter2_0180_echo_shade] "You have everything you need to rebuild the sandskiff! Just thank the lovely people of Oasis! It's good we have so much water -- otherwise we might have died of dehydration! HAhahahahahaahahahah!"

[orchid_vo_chapter2_0190_echo_shade] "Please attach those parts you retrieved to the sandskiff. Then you may scan it and summon one from any catch-a-ride machine!"

[orchid_vo_chapter2_0200_echo_shade] "Oh, she is fixed! Wonderful! Please hit that button to digiscan her into the catch-a-ride system. If you want."

[orchid_vo_chapter2_0210_echo_shade] "There -- you may now digistruct a sandskiff from any catch-a-ride machine! Before you go off to meet Captain Scarlett, though, you MUST return to me!"

[orchid_vo_chapter2_0220_echo_shade] "I had no reason to call you back. I just enjoy your presence."

Chapter 3: [orchid_vo_chapter3_0010_echo_shade] "Captain Scarlett has been tracking the Treasure of the Sands for several years -- you should sail out to meet her in your sandskiff."

[orchid_vo_chapter3_0020_echo_shade] "Wait, you're going NOW?! We were just beginning to connect!"

[orchid_vo_chapter3_0021_echox_shade] "You're heading out to the flats? But why? There's nothing there but sand grubs and angry pirates! Just come back and we can talk about our favorite movies. Mine is The Cop Who is Also A Robot."

[orchid_vo_chapter3_0022_echox_shade] "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, my best friend in the world! Hello! Don't step onto the flats or the sand grubs will hear you!"

[orchid_vo_chapter3_0030_echo_scarlett] "Huh. That a skiff coming from Oasis? That's, uh -- alright! Well --"

[orchid_vo_chapter3_0040_echo_sandmanminion] "Sandman wants your part of the compass, bitch! Hand it over!"

[orchid_vo_chapter3_0050_echo_scarlett] "Aaand I'm being attacked. Great. Wonderful. Hey, stranger -- you give me a hand with Sandman's boys, I'll make it worth your while alright?"

[orchid_vo_chapter3_0060_echo_sandman] "Hey, jerkass! You the one who killed my boys in Oasis? I'm only gonna tell you this once -- you side with Captain Scarlett, she's just gonna stab you in the back. Me? I'll look ya in the eye when I kill ya."

[orchid_vo_chapter3_0070_echo_scarlett] "Hey, sir. Or, uh, ma'am. Stranger? We'll go with that. Some of Sandman's guys made it onboard -- get up here, quick. It's getting dull fighting these schmoes by myself."

[orchid_vo_chapter3_0080_echo_scarlett] "Huh. Killed em all? Nice. Get up here and we can talk business."

[orchid_vo_chapter3_0090_live_scarlett] "Nice moves out there -- you're a Vault Hunter, yeah? Never met one of you guys before. The guns, the power -- it's all -- very striking."

[orchid_vo_chapter3_0100_live_scarlett] "If you're looking for the Treasure of the Sands, you've come to the right chick. But -- gah, I'm being rude. Haven't even introduced myself. Do that a lot. Sorry. I'm, um, Captain Scarlett..."

[orchid_vo_chapter3_0110_live_scarlett] "Nice to meet ya."

[orchid_vo_chapter3_0120_live_scarlett] "Long story short - I dig your skills. I'd like to look for the Treasure of the Sands with you. Now, full disclosure, I will absolutely stab you in the back somewhere down the road, but for now, we stand a better chance of finding that treasure if we work together. Let's, uh, let's chat."

[orchid_vo_chapter3_0130_echox_scarlett] "Oh, right. I should probably get you up to speed on the legend of the treasure, eh?"

Chapter 4: [orchid_vo_chapter4_0010_echox_scarlett] "So, the legends say that whoever gets all four pieces of a mystical compass will find the lost treasure. I've got a piece, because I'm awesome, but Sandman has one, too. Head to Hayter's Folly, kill Sandman, and get his piece of the compass. Sound good?"

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0020_echox_scarlett] "If you're wondering why I'm sending you to kill Sandman rather than doing it myself, first of all, good question. Glad to see you, you know, taking the initiative. Second of all, Sandman's pretty strong, and you're expendable as hell. Soooo...good luck!"

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0030_echo_scarlett] "Way back when, Sandman and I were like this. Oh right, you can't see through the radio-- I'm crossing my first two fingers. Like this. Best buds. Until we stumbled upon some of Captain Blade's old notes about the lost treasure, that is."

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0040_echo_shade] "...So, there is a lot of water under the city of Oasis? What a surprise! Oh, sorry -- I hacked into your ECHO device shortly after we met, so I can see everything you can. I get horrifically bored and it's fun to watch you kill people."

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0050_echo_shade] "It's a good thing no one in Oasis is dying of thirst -- otherwise, the sight of that enormous spring might fill me with a tragic rage! Hahahahahahhahahahah!"

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0060_echo_scarlett] "Together, Sandman and I found two pieces of Captain blade's mystical compass. Then, because I'm an idiot, I tried to stab him in the back, literally. The knife blade snapped, he shot me in the leg and ran...it was pretty embarrassing. But that's when I learned: never betray your friends... until you're sure you've got the upper hand."

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0070_echo_sandman] "I told ya to lay off -- now I gotta kill you, your friends, AND your family!"

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0080_echo_scarlett] "How would he even know where your family lives? He's -- just ignore him, he's talking crap."

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0090_live_sandman] "You really shoulda died when I told you to. Now you're gonna learn that big pain..."

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0100_live_sandman] "...Comes from small packages!"

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0110_echox_sandman] "You ain't gettin' my piece of the compass! Never!"

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0120_echo_scarlett] "Sandman's dead? Nice! Now once you find his compass piece, we'll have two of the four we need to find the treasure. I haven't the SLIGHTEST idea where the other two missing pieces are, but, you know, it's a start."

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0130_echo_scarlett] "Part of me feels kind of bad I didn't get to kill Sandman myself, but the other part of me is happy I got to chill back here and read the latest issue of Crimefighter Frog. It's about a frog who fights crimes."

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0140_echo_sandman] "Dear Diary: I know where the third compass piece is -- Hyperion's got it! Judging by what they've been sayin' over the radio they think it's just some trinket -- they're gonna ship it out on a caravan in Wurmwater. I've just gotta --"

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0150_echo_sandman] "Aw, great. That jackass from Oasis is comin' after me. B-R-B, diary."

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0160_echo_scarlett] "Well, that's lucky. Come on back to Wurmwater so we can get the third compass piece and be that much closer to finding the treasure."

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0170_echo_scarlett] "Oh crap...the Leviathan's back. I, forgot to mention -- that thing is the guardian of the treasure. It ate my pet, Roscoe, in one bite, and he was like THIS big! Oh, bloody-- I keep forgetting these things don't have video. I'm holding my arms really -- far apart."

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0180_echo_scarlett] "Oh, I forgot to mention -- there's this bigass monster called the Leviathan? It's guarding the treasure of the sands. It ate my pet, Roscoe, in one bite, and he was like THIS big! Oh, bloody-- I keep forgetting these things don't have video. I'm holding my arms really -- far apart."

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0190_echo_scarlett] "The Hyperion caravan Sandman talked about should be around here somewhere. Time for some good old fashioned piracy -- raid the caravan and get the third compass piece."

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0200_echo_hyploader] "Piracy will not be tolerated. Prepare to be disintegrated."

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0210_echo_scarlett] "Damn -- that one was full of nothing but medicine and cheese snacks. Keep blowing up the other vessels -- one of 'em must have the third compass piece."

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0220_echo_scarlett] "Nothing in that caravan. Maybe Sandman was just confused -- I did give him an awful lot of concussions when we were crewmates. Still, keep looking."

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0230_echo_scarlett] "That caravan dropped the third compass piece! Get it!"

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0240_echo_scarlett] "You're--you're awesome. We're probably gonna kill each other later, but for now I just wanna say: well done. We only need one more compass piece before we can find the lost treasure. Come on back."

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0250_echo_scarlett] "Three down, one to go. Once the compass is fixed, we'll find out where Captain Blade buried his treasure."

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0260_live_sandman] "[pain grunt]"

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0270_live_sandman] "[pain grunt]"

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0280_live_sandman] "[pain grunt]"

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0290_live_sandman] "[pain grunt]"

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0300_live_sandman] "[pain grunt]"

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0310_live_sandman] "Screw you!"

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0320_live_sandman] "I'ma ride you piggyback til you die!"

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0330_live_sandman] "Tell Scarlett I'm comin' for her next!"

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0340_live_sandman] "You're half the man I am!"

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0350_live_sandman] "You look so tiny from up here!"

[orchid_vo_chapter4_0360_live_sandman] "You're half the man I am and I'm only half your size! So if I was full-sized, I'd be four times the man you are!"

[orchid_vo_pickups_0020_echo_scarlett] "Got a minute? I'm trying out some new catchphrases. Lemme know if any of these grab you. Yarrr. Avast, matey. Yo ho ho. Hoist the mainsail! Walk the plank! Shiver me timbers... no, that one didn't work at all."

Chapter 5: [orchid_vo_chapter5_0010_echo_scarlett] "I don't know where the last part of the compass is, but...I know someone who might. His name is Herbert, and he lives out in the Rustyards. Take that gift box over there."

[orchid_vo_chapter5_0020_echo_scarlett] "Hold onto that gift and don't give it to Herbert until I tell you to. Now go meet up with him. Off with you, now."

[orchid_vo_chapter5_0030_echox_scarlett] "Now, you might be worried that once you get all four pieces of the compass, I'll kill you and take it for myself. Wrong. Even once complete, the compass still needs to be taken to...a very super-secret location before it will reveal where Blade's treasure is buried. You can rest easy for now."

[orchid_vo_chapter5_0040_echo_scarlett] "Herbert, the guy you're looking for? I brought him onboard a few months back cause he's stupidly knowledgeable about Captain Blade's treasure. Then I kicked him off because...you'll -- you'll see."

[orchid_vo_chapter5_0050_echo_scarlett] "Oh, if Herbert asks about me, don't say anything."

[orchid_vo_chapter5_0060_echo_shade] "Did you hear that, my friend? The call of the Leviathan. He guards Captain Blade's treasure -- perhaps you shall do battle with him one day. Or maybe you could forget the whole treasure thing and hang out with me back in Oasis. Wouldn't that be nice? I'm lonely."

[orchid_vo_chapter5_0070_echo_scarlett] "That looks creepy enough to be Herbert's shack up there on that ledge. Take the elevator up, knock on the door, and prepare for a smell straight out of your nightmares."

[orchid_vo_chapter5_0080_live_herbert] "Hold on -- hold on a second!"

[orchid_vo_chapter5_0090_live_herbert] "Scarlett?! Is that you?!"

[orchid_vo_chapter5_0100_echox_herbert] "Oh. You're not Scarlett...but I can taste her scent on you. She wants the last compass piece, doesn't she? Ohh, yeah. Let's talk. You and me."

[orchid_vo_chapter5_0110_echox_herbert] "How is Scarlett? Is she as beautiful as when I last saw her? Oh, how the light caught her hair..."

Chapter 6: [orchid_vo_chapter6_0010_echox_herbert] "If I help you complete the compass, Scarlett will be so happy -- ohhh, yes. But no -- the compass alone won't do. She needs to know how much I care...the TAPES! Yesss! Get the tapes, get the tapes! I'll mark them on your ECHO!"

[orchid_vo_chapter6_0020_echo_scarlett] "I was worried something like this would happen. Just...collect his little love letters as quick as you can. Sorry."

[orchid_vo_chapter6_0030_echo_herbert] "Scarlett...I wrote you a haiku. Ahem. You got a nice butt/You also got a nice chest/Your face is okay too -- NO! SIX SYLLABLES! I screwed--OH, IT'S RUINED! GOD DAMMIT!"

[orchid_vo_chapter6_0040_echo_scarlett] "[softly snoring]"

[orchid_vo_chapter6_0050_echo_herbert] "[whispering] This concludes the sounds of Scarlett sleeping, tape number forty-eight."

[orchid_vo_chapter6_0060_echo_scarlett] "Hunhh? Somebody there?"

[orchid_vo_chapter6_0070_echo_herbert] "[whispering] Oh crap--"

[orchid_vo_chapter6_0080_echo_herbert] "Today, Scarlett caught a crewman stealing from her. She's so honorable -- through my telescope, I saw her give him a gun to defend himself. As she ran him through with her sword, I knew -- I knew! She's the one."

[orchid_vo_chapter6_0090_echo_herbert] "Okay, this is mix tape number two hundred six. I call this one: Scarlett, I would like to touch you in places. [singing] Ohhh, SCARLETT--"

[orchid_vo_chapter6_0100_echo_scarlett] "Ohh, god -- did you find one of his songs? Musical gonorrhea. Still, you found all of his tapes, better return them to him. And wash your hands afterward. Blech."

[orchid_vo_chapter6_0110_echox_herbert] "You found the tapes? Once you deliver those with the last piece of the compass, Scarlett will have to take me back. The last compass piece is in that chest."

[orchid_vo_chapter6_0120_echox_herbert] "Ah -- must be rusted. Rusty rusty. Just shoot the lock."

[orchid_vo_chapter6_0130_echox_herbert] "Oh. Your shot destroyed the last piece of the legendary compass."

[orchid_vo_chapter6_0140_echox_herbert] "Whoops."

Chapter 7: [orchid_vo_chapter7_0010_echox_herbert] "Looks like when you shot the lock, you blasted the final compass piece into bits. Ohhhkay, this is bad. Uhmm -- no, wait! Ah! I can make a replacement! I just need parts! Just get to the Washburne Refinery. Go go GO!"

[orchid_vo_chapter7_0020_echox_herbert] "So, what's your favorite thing about Scarlett? Mine's the way she smiles. And her hair. And her body. And that one time she made eye contact with me. Really, all of those things are my favorite thing about her."

[orchid_vo_chapter7_0030_echo_herbert] "I can rebuild the last part of the compass, but I'll need some samples of poly-kryten. Once you get those, I can rebuild the key, and give it to Scarlett, and it'll help her find where the treasure is buried and she'll marry me and we'll have a hundred babies and I'll never die. It'll be perfect."

[orchid_vo_chapter7_0040_echo_herbert] "Yes -- just a few more bits of poly-kryten. I've studied the lost treasure of the sands for months now; I'll rebuild the compass. For her."

[orchid_vo_chapter7_0050_echo_scarlett] "You've done a great job thus far, so I've got a tip -- when we fight to the death, you're gonna want to stay on my right side; I lost my right eye when my dad dropped me. Not, like, as a baby -- I was...20? Dropped me out of an airship. Made the bastard eat his own intestines later. It was pretty great."

[orchid_vo_chapter7_0060_echo_herbert] "You know, I bet Scarlett's gettin' lonely. Yep -- I'm pret-ty sure she regrets kicking me out to the Rustyard."

[orchid_vo_chapter7_0070_echo_scarlett] "Nope."

[orchid_vo_chapter7_0080_echo_herbert] "You've almost got enough poly-kryten. Once I give you the last piece of the compass, you'll need to combine all four pieces and take them to the Magnys Lighthouse. That is where you will find the burial place of the Lost Treasure of the Sands."

[orchid_vo_chapter7_0090_echo_herbert] "Greatgreatgreat! That's enough! Come back and I'll forge the replacement compass piece for you!"

[orchid_vo_chapter7_0100_echo_scarlett] "Oooh. The Leviathan knows we're close to finding the treasure. I can't wait to kill him and avenge my Roscoe. God, Roscoe was so cute. Had this big ol' face you just wanted to squeeze, and -- what are you jackasses looking at? Get back to work! Swab something, goddammit!"

[orchid_vo_chapter7_0110_echox_herbert] "You've got the poly-kryten? Gimme!"

[orchid_vo_chapter7_0120_echox_herbert] "And this goes there...and tighten that...cut that down just a hair...aha!"

[orchid_vo_chapter7_0130_echox_herbert] "Here you go! The last piece of the compass!"

[orchid_vo_chapter7_0140_echox_herbert] "Now give that to Scarlett, along with the tapes. And she'll love me again. And if she doesn't, I'll follow her, and I'll smell her, and I'll just MAKE her love me! Ahahahahaahha!"

[orchid_vo_chapter7_0150_echo_scarlett] "You got the compass piece? Great. Now, give Herbert that little gift I gave you, then come on back."

[orchid_vo_chapter7_0160_echox_herbert] "A gift?! From SCARLETT?! I knew it! I KNEW she cared! AHAHA!"

[orchid_vo_chapter7_0170_echo_scarlett] "Oh sorry about that, Herbert. Oh -- I forgot to mention you were carrying a rather large BOMB around with you, didn't I? Many apologies. Now just bring back the last compass piece, so we can find out where the treasure's buried!"

[orchid_vo_chapter7_0180_echox_scarlett] "Herbert. Gueehueehehuhhh."

Chapter 8: [orchid_vo_chapter8_0010_echox_scarlett] "It's time to assemble the compass and find out where Captain Blade buried his treasure. Here."

[orchid_vo_chapter8_0020_echox_scarlett] "This is my piece of the compass. Take it."

[orchid_vo_chapter8_0030_echox_scarlett] "Now, combine it with the other three pieces of the compass you've collected on that table over there."

[orchid_vo_chapter8_0040_echox_scarlett] "There it is -- the Compass of the Sands. Please, grab it."

[orchid_vo_chapter8_0050_echox_scarlett] "And now, we've treasure to find. Take the compass to Magnys Lighthouse."

[orchid_vo_chapter8_0060_echox_scarlett] "Captain Blade built the Magnys Lighthouse a few years before he died. His notes say that if you take the compass to the top of the lighthouse, it'll show you exactly where the treasure is buried. ...Of course, Blade's notes also had a lot to say about society being secretly run by sentient tacos. He kind of went off the rails there, near the end."

[orchid_vo_chapter8_0070_echo_scarlett] "You wanna get to the top of the rock spire -- fight your way to the top of lightouse, then use the compass while you're up there. Then we'll find out where the treasure is buried, and probably try to race one another to reach it first. It'll be fun!"

[orchid_vo_chapter8_0080_echo_scarlett] "If you reach the treasure before me -- which you won't, of course, but just in case -- be careful of the Leviathan. It ate Roscoe, as I may have already mentioned, and Blade's notes say it will die to protect the treasure chamber."

[orchid_vo_chapter8_0090_echo_scarlett] "Hurry to the top of the lighthouse -- the Leviathan knows how close we are to finding the treasure, and he sounds rather miffed. Pretty awesome, right?"

[orchid_vo_chapter8_0100_echo_scarlett] "You're at the top of the lighthouse? Lovely! Just find somewhere to place Blade's compass, and we'll find out exactly where the treasure is buried."

[orchid_vo_chapter8_0110_echo_scarlett] "Is it working? What's happening?"

[orchid_vo_chapter8_0120_echo_scarlett] "You did it! It looks like the treasure's buried in Wurmwater! Ha HA! I'll meet you out there!"

Chapter 9: [orchid_vo_chapter9_0010_echo_scarlett] "Top notch, my friend. And don't worry -- I still need your help to get past whatever traps there might be in the treasure chamber. I will not betray you until we find the treasure room."

[orchid_vo_chapter9_0020_echo_scarlett] "Just kidding!"

[orchid_vo_chapter9_0030_echo_scarlett] "It's honestly been a lot of fun, but this is where you die."

[orchid_vo_chapter9_0040_echo_scarlett] "I really hope this didn't come as a surprise. I would hate for someone as talented as you to die confused."

[orchid_vo_chapter9_0050_echo_shade] "My friend, are you alright? I hear explosions coming from the lighthouse -- is that you exploding? I see Captain Scarlett heading toward some bright light in Wurmwater...I would go very, very fast and beat her to the treasure and possibly shoot her multiple times."

[orchid_vo_chapter9_0060_echo_scarlett] "If it's any consolation, I meant everything I said to you. You're an awesome warrior, a real stand-up individual. But my men and I just reached the spot pointed out by the lighthouse, so this is where I say goodb--"

[orchid_vo_chapter9_0070_echo_scarlett] "So, the bad news is, the Leviathan swallowed us. The good news is, it's taking us to the treasure room. But the BEST news is -- you remember my pet, Roscoe?"

[orchid_vo_chapter9_0080_echo_scarlett] "I found him!"

[orchid_vo_chapter9_0090_echox_scarlett] "Let's finish this!"

[orchid_vo_chapter9_0100_echox_scarlett] "Not...bad..."

[orchid_vo_chapter9_0110_echo_shade] "Uhhh, did you just get eaten by a gigantic sand monster? Because that is AWESOME! I can do literally nothing to help you from back here, but, good luck finding the treasure!"

[orchid_vo_chapter9_0120_echo_shade] "You killed Captain Scarlett? Cool, very cool. You should get out of that worm and get your treasure! Don't you think, Jennifer?"

[orchid_vo_chapter9_0130_echo_shade] "[as Jennifer] I am soooo not dead from thirst!"

[orchid_vo_chapter9_0140_echo_shade] "[as Shade] Ohhhh, classic Jennifer."

[orchid_vo_chapter9_0150_echo_shade] "This is it, my friend -- destroy the Leviathan, and the treasure shall be yours!"

[orchid_vo_chapter9_0160_echo_shade] "You did it -- the Lost Treasure of the Sands is yours, my friend! They were amazing, weren't they Lionel?"

[orchid_vo_chapter9_0170_echo_robotvoice] "Tape corrupted."

[orchid_vo_chapter9_0180_echo_shade] "I agree!"

[orchid_vo_pickups_0030_echo_scarlett] "You killed Roscoe! What a shame. Ah, well - discretion's the better part of running away. 'Til we meet again, Vault Hunter!"

[orchid_vo_pickups_0040_echo_scarlett] "Oh, damn, I dropped my pistol. Do me a favor and don't grab it, would you? Because that would be stealing. And stealing is wrong."

[orchid_vo_pickups_0050_echo_scarlett] "Ah, you stole it anyway. Shame on you. And also, well done."

End Cutscene: [orchid_vo_endcutscene_0010_live_thekid] "So ends the story of how the Vault Hunters defeated the treacherous Captain Scarlett, and slew the Leviathan. And as the sun set on Pandora, the Vault Hunters realized that while they'd found Captain Blade's lost armory, the true treasure of the sands...had been inside them all along. The end. How was that?"

[orchid_vo_endcutscene_0020_live_marcus] "That last part was REALLY hokey."

[orchid_vo_endcutscene_0030_live_thekid] "Yeah, it felt kinda contrived, didn't it?"

[orchid_vo_endcutscene_0040_live_marcus] "-- Extremely. But otherwise...you ended that story pretty well. For a dirty little orphan."

[orchid_vo_endcutscene_0050_live_thekid] "Thanks!"

[orchid_vo_endcutscene_0060_live_marcus] "Eh, don't mention it. I've gotta teach somebody to tell these stories when I'm gone. Might as well be you."

[orchid_vo_endcutscene_0070_live_thekid] "Yeah. I love you, Marcus!"

[orchid_vo_endcutscene_0080_live_marcus] "...That's weird."

Epilogue: [orchid_vo_epilogue_0010_echo_shade] "You have succeeded, my good friend! You must come back to Oasis and celebrate! Missus Blayvis will not shut up about you!"

[orchid_vo_epilogue_0020_echo_shade] "Let me pour you a glass of water, my friend!"

[orchid_vo_pickups_0060_echo_scarlett] "I may have lost my pet, my crew, and the treasure of the sands, but I'm still alive and I've gained a brand-new archnemesis! I look forward to killing you in the future, Vault Hunter!"

Sidequests: [orchid_vosq_burythepast_0010_echo_aubreycallahaniii] "My great grandma used to be a sand pirate around these parts, but I don't want anybody to know that. Her old ship is just outside of Oasis -- I need you to scuttle it and erase any evidence of the creepy stuff my gram-gram used to do. Go get the explosives I've stashed for you."

[orchid_vosq_burythepast_0020_echo_aubreycallahaniii] "Thanks for agreeing to destroy gram-gram's old ship. I don't wanna tell you the kind of stuff she was guilty of, but let's just say it rhymes with child-schmafficking. With some schmannibalism on the side."

[orchid_vosq_burythepast_0030_echo_aubreycallahaniii] "Great! Now nobody can find out I was ever related to that child-schmafficking bitch. Get back to the bounty board whenever you're done here. I mean, I don't really care but, whatever."

[orchid_vosq_burythepast_0040_echo_aubreycallahaniii] "I goddamn hate my great grandma."

[orchid_vosq_captainslog_0010_echo_scarlett] "Dunno if you're aware of this, but the Treasure of the Sands was originally buried by a pirate named Captain Blade. If you can find his old audio diaries, they might have some clues about the location of the treasure."

[orchid_vosq_captainslog_0020_echo_captainblade] "Blade's log. Had to stage another fake execution today. One of the cooks was caught stealin' from the treasure hold, so I had to pretend to kill him to keep the rest of the crew in line. Gave him enough cash to disappear, shot him overboard with a blank -- [long sigh]. Keepin' up this fearsome Captain Blade routine's a hell of a lot of work."

[orchid_vosq_captainslog_0030_echo_captainblade] "After two years, three hundred looted sand barges and zero casualties, I think the men are starting to unravel. They wanna kill stuff. They wanna split the loot and head their separate ways. They don't seem to get the fact that our whole operation isn't about greed, or bloodlust -- it's about survival. We stop robbing ships, we starve. We split up, we die. I won't let that happen."

[orchid_vosq_captainslog_0040_echo_captainblade] "The crew are gonna mutiny. The cook I pretended to kill? They found him sittin' around in Oasis while I guarded the boat. After they strung him up, they got to talkin'. Found out I'd never killed another soul in my life. My guess is, they'll raid the treasure room for guns, and shoot me when my back's turned. Might as well let 'em do it -- I'd rather be killed than have to wipe out my own men. This will be my last log entry. Captain Blade, signing off."

[orchid_vosq_captainslog_0050_echo_captainblade] "[breathing heavily] They're all dead. They attacked just after daybreak. I promised myself I'd let 'em kill me, but I couldn't let -- I fought back. The deck is sticky with their blood. Today they finally met the fearsome Captain Blade."

[orchid_vosq_captainslog_0060_echo_captainblade] "I'm hiding the blasted treasure. It got my entire crew killed. But if you wanna die looking for it, have fun. This is Captain Blade -- signing off -- for good."

[orchid_vosq_captainslog_0070_echo_scarlett] "He didn't even say where he buried the treasure? Ugh -- I hate it when pirates grow consciences. What a moron. Anyway, come on back."

[orchid_vosq_captainslog_0080_echo_scarlett] "Well, that was informative. Totally unhelpful. But informative."

[orchid_vosq_catcharidetetanus_0010_echo_scooter] "Sup, yo? This here's Scooter, comin' at ya from Sanctuary. I needs me some old-ass scraps from y'alls Rustyard to keep the city's engines a-turnin'. If it's sturdy and metallic, and can give ya lead poisoning just from lookin' at it, grab it and ship it my way, alright!"

[orchid_vosq_catcharidetetanus_0020_echo_scooter] "Tha-anks! I figure the scrap'll take at least a week to digistruct back to Sanctuary but I'll go ahead and pay ya up front 'cause I'm that kinda guy. Mm-hmm. Yer welcome."

[orchid_vosq_copythatfloppy_0010_echox_c3n50r807] "ECHO software piracy eats away at the moral fabric of society. Several sand pirates have bootlegged copies of the latest ECHO simulation programs. Murder them and retrieve the ill-gotten goods."

[orchid_vosq_copythatfloppy_0020_echox_bandit] "[cough] But I wasn't even gonna buy it..."

[orchid_vosq_copythatfloppy_0030_echox_c3n50r807] "Well now you can. In hell."

[orchid_vosq_copythatfloppy_0040_echox_bandit] "I woulda paid for it once I got the money together..."

[orchid_vosq_copythatfloppy_0050_echox_bandit] "But it's not really theft -- I just downloaded it..."

[orchid_vosq_copythatfloppy_0060_echox_c3n50r807] "You would not download a car."

[orchid_vosq_copythatfloppy_0070_echox_bandit] "...What...?"

[orchid_vosq_copythatfloppy_0080_echox_c3n50r807] "Good. That is one more person who will not tell others about the program they downloaded."

[orchid_vosq_copythatfloppy_0090_echox_c3n50r807] "Well done. Pandora's moral fabric is intact. Return to me at once."

[orchid_vosq_copythatfloppy_0100_echox_c3n50r807] "If only all DRM could shoot the user in the face. A robot can dream."

[orchid_vosq_declarationindependents_0010_echo_sandpirate] "This is to the jackass who just arrived in Oasis! We don't take kindly to independent treasure hunters around here -- we're union sand pirates! Now, we're callin' you out, scab -- our union versus you. Hell no, we won't go! Hell no, we won't go!"

[orchid_vosq_declarationindependents_0020_echo_sandpirate] "[injured] Okay, so, on second thought, you can share treasure hunting turf with the union. Ughhh. Hell yes, you're the best! Hell yes, you're th--uuuuugh"

[orchid_vosq_desertdeserters_0010_echo_scarlett] "A few of my men deserted the ship when Sandman attacked. Could you kill them, please? Deserters really bug me, since I have only one rule on my ship: if you join, it's for life. That, and no fatties. Haha! Sorry. That was supposed to be a joke. I -- yeah. Sorry."

[orchid_vosq_desertdeserters_0020_echo_scarlett] "Ah -- that was my old cook. Tried to poison my food six times before he realized I always make my puppies test my food for me. Sometimes I really miss Bowsers number seven through thirteen."

[orchid_vosq_desertdeserters_0030_echo_scarlett] "I remember him. Deckhand. Always bragged about blowing up an orphanage. Which -- ugh. I've murdered my fair share of children, but don't brag about it. That's rude."

[orchid_vosq_desertdeserters_0040_echo_scarlett] "Crap...I can't remember that deserter's name. It was something unisexual. Taylor, Tanner, something like -- ugh -- I feel really bad killing someone without knowing their name TERRY! It was TERRY! Whew. Almost felt guilty, there."

[orchid_vosq_desertdeserters_0050_echo_scarlett] "Looks like that's all of 'em -- head on back whenever you're ready."

[orchid_vosq_desertdeserters_0060_echo_scarlett] "Really can't understate just how un-serious I was being about the no fatties thing. I actually prefer overweight men."

[orchid_vosq_firewater_0010_echox_shade] "Have you met my friend Frank? He is a very gruff man, and an alcoholic. Yes, it is a tragedy -- he becomes very irate if he is not given the finest whiskey. Could you please procure some from the merchant caravans nearby?"

[orchid_vosq_firewater_0020_echox_shade] "Oh, thank god you got the whiskey -- Frank was beginning to get violent. Please, return the drinks to him."

[orchid_vosq_firewater_0030_echox_shade] "[as Frank] I am a tough man who says tough things in a growly voice. I can --"

[orchid_vosq_firewater_0040_echox_roboticvoice] "Tape corrupted."

[orchid_vosq_firewater_0050_echox_shade] "[as Shade] You have a problem, Frank! You are so drunk you are speaking the gibberish! Please return to me, friend. I fear Frank is beyond help."

[orchid_vosq_firewater_0060_echox_shade] "Perhaps I should do a -- what is the word -- intervention."

[orchid_vosq_freedomofspeech_0010_echox_c3n50r807] "I am the Censorbot. All immorality will be destroyed. Cursing is immoral. A bandit DJ is about to broadcast a stream of profanity from a nearby radio tower. Murder him violently."

[orchid_vosq_freedomofspeech_0020_echox_djtanner] "W-A-R-G! You're listening to DJ Tanner, saying that you're all skaglickin', rakksuckin', ass-gobblin'schmuckfaces! And you can ALLLL suck my wangalang!"

[orchid_vosq_freedomofspeech_0030_echox_c3n50r807] "That language harms Pandora's children. Murder the DJ at once."

[orchid_vosq_freedomofspeech_0040_echox_djtanner] "You slagged-up fistomitch! DIEEEE!"

[orchid_vosq_freedomofspeech_0050_echox_c3n50r807] "It is good you murdered him so that his verbally expressed emotions could not cause others momentary discomfort. Now please blow up his studio."

[orchid_vosq_freedomofspeech_0060_echox_c3n50r807] "The world is now a better place. Return to me for your reward."

[orchid_vosq_freedomofspeech_0070_echox_c3n50r807] "That DJ was a real asshole."

[orchid_vosq_freedomofspeech_0080_echox_djtanner] "[pain grunt]"

[orchid_vosq_freedomofspeech_0090_echox_djtanner] "[pain grunt]"

[orchid_vosq_freedomofspeech_0100_echox_djtanner] "[pain grunt]"

[orchid_vosq_freedomofspeech_0110_echox_djtanner] "[pain grunt]"

[orchid_vosq_freedomofspeech_0120_echox_djtanner] "[pain grunt]"

[orchid_vosq_freedomofspeech_0130_echox_djtanner] "Bullyballs!"

[orchid_vosq_freedomofspeech_0140_echox_djtanner] "Skagsucka!"

[orchid_vosq_freedomofspeech_0150_echox_djtanner] "Buttnuts!"

[orchid_vosq_freedomofspeech_0160_echox_djtanner] "Ducksucker!"

[orchid_vosq_freedomofspeech_0170_echox_djtanner] "Rakklicka!"

[orchid_vosq_givingjocko_0010_echox_shade] "You have met Jocko, yes? He is a simple man, with very big dreams. He wishes to be a sand pirate, you see. I am sure he would love it if you could get him some pirate-y prosthetics. Teeth, peglegs, things of this sort."

[orchid_vosq_givingjocko_0020_echox_shade] "Jocko, do you see this? The kind treasure hunter is collecting pirate accessories so you may fulfill your lifelong fantasy of being a Sand Pirate which was cut short thanks to a tragic childhood injury!"

[orchid_vosq_givingjocko_0030_echox_shade] "[as Jocko] Why did the skag cross the road? Because there was water on the the other side! Of the road. Ha ha."

[orchid_vosq_givingjocko_0040_echox_shade] "[as Shade] He laughs to keep from crying. It is so very very sad."

[orchid_vosq_givingjocko_0050_echox_shade] "Oh, these pirate things are so wonderful. Jocko will love them. Almost as much as he loves telling those hilarious jokes, and not being dead of thirst."

[orchid_vosq_grendel_0010_echo_sirhammerlock] "Pip pip! Sir Hammerlock here, with a bit of a job for you. I've heard tell some...creature is sneaking around Hayter's Folly, stealing treasure, slicing off faces and the like. Sounds terribly interesting. Hunt it down, would you?"

[orchid_vosq_grendel_0020_echo_sirhammerlock] "When you do find this creature, please deal with it quickly. The poor fellow who ECHO'd me about the situation, name of Jesse...well, the creature wore his face like a jockstrap."

[orchid_vosq_grendel_0030_echo_sirhammerlock] "You've killed it? Wonderful. Now, if you could return to the bounty board, we can see about stapling Jesse's face back onto his skull."

[orchid_vosq_grendel_0040_echo_sirhammerlock] "Good news -- you don't have to help me staple Jesse's face back on, because he's dead! Hemophilia, ho..."

[orchid_vosq_iknowitwhen_0010_echox_c3n50r807] "I am the Censorbot. All lewd behavior must be stopped. A deviant known as P3RV-E is in possession of sexually explicit materials. Please murder him, because morality."

[orchid_vosq_iknowitwhen_0020_echox_c3n50r807] "There is the sexual deviant. Dissasemble him."

[orchid_vosq_iknowitwhen_0030_echox_p3rve] "I enjoy looking at airbrushed images of reproductive organs."

[orchid_vosq_iknowitwhen_0040_echox_c3n50r807] "Acceptable. Now collect the deviant's explicit contraband. It must be studied further."

[orchid_vosq_iknowitwhen_0050_echox_c3n50r807] "You have struck a great blow to the perversion corrupting Pandora. Return to me for more work."

[orchid_vosq_iknowitwhen_0060_echox_c3n50r807] "This filth is disgusting. I will determine the exact mathematical level of its disgustingness after further study."

[orchid_vosq_mansbest_0010_echox_aubreycallahaniii] "Hey. Vault Hunter guy. Need your help. My grandma used to be friends with Captain Blade -- that guy who buried the treasure. He left his pet stalker to my gramma, when he died, and she took care of it and stuff, but then she died and left it to me, and I'm like, I don't wanna take care of a friggin' stalker. They're gross. So go kill it for me. It's in Oasis somewhere."

[orchid_vosq_mansbest_0020_echox_aubreycallahaniii] "Hey, you found the stupid thing. Great. Be careful -- my grandma used to feed orphans to it. So if your parents are dead, like, be careful or whatever. He might be able to smell your orphan-musk."

[orchid_vosq_mansbest_0030_echox_aubreycallahaniii] "You killed Captain Blade's stupid stalker. Yaaay. Go back to the bounty board and I'll pay you. "

[orchid_vosq_mansbest_0040_echox_aubreycallahaniii] "Here. Money. Woooo."

[orchid_vosq_messageinbottle_0010_echo_shade] "You have found one of Captain Blade's bottles! Inside the bottle, you will find a key. The key opens a chest. The chest has loot. The loot will help you kill things. Find the chest, my friend."

[orchid_vosq_messageinbottle_0020_echo_shade] "Ah -- one of Captain Blade's many locked treasures. You must find the bottle with the key that opens this chest, friend-friend, friendy-friend...I miss you!"

[orchid_vosq_raidboss1_0010_echox_shade] "I have pressing news -- a Hyperion engineer has gone mad with power out in the desert -- perhaps the alien thingies of this planet have perverted his mind or something, I dunno. I have a plan: you will shoot him many times with bullets and he will die. Be careful, though -- he is very powerful. You may need to bring some friends as backup."

[orchid_vosq_raidboss1_0020_echox_shade] "Yes, screw that guy! Well done, my friend. Return to me once you are done looting his mutilated corpse."

[orchid_vosq_raidboss2_0010_echox_shade] "Bad news, Vault Hunter person -- you remember Roscoe? The late Captain Scarlett's pet? It has given birth to many children. You must find them and shoot the dickens out of them! Again, keep your wits about you -- you will need backup to survive."

[orchid_vosq_raidboss2_0120_echox_shade] "That'll teach you to be born, you disgusting things, you! Great job as always, my friend. You are truly the coolest."

[orchid_vosq_raidboss3_0010_echox_shade] "I have found the final bad thing that you must face, my friend. I do not know what it is, but I know this -- you will destroy it because you are the coolest kid in school. Good luck."

[orchid_vosq_raidboss3_0020_echox_shade] "You defeated the thing! This is the best day of my entire life. Or anyone else's. You are just that cool."

[orchid_vosq_scurvydogs_0010_echo_mercer] "Hey -- I'm Mercer, the cook for this dumbass crew. You know the number two top killer of sand pirates? Scurvy. Number one is self-inflicted gunshot wounds but that ain't really my department. Get me some fruit, will ya?"

[orchid_vosq_scurvydogs_0015_echo_mercer] "You got the fruit? Cool. Bring it back."

[orchid_vosq_scurvydogs_0016_echo_mercer] "Cool. Now if these idiots still end up shooting themselves, at least they'll do it chock-full of vitamin C."

[orchid_vosq_scurvydogs_0020_echo_mercer] "You found some fruit, good. Now --"

[orchid_vosq_scurvydogs_0030_echo_murray] "OW!"

[orchid_vosq_scurvydogs_0040_echo_mercer] "Oh, for the love of -- sorry, Murray just shot himself in the leg. Hey, Murray, know what'll cheer you up? Some vitamin C!"

[orchid_vosq_scurvydogs_0050_echo_murray] "SANDMAN ATE MY PARENTS!"

[orchid_vosq_scurvydogs_0060_echo_mercer] "Oh, suck it up, Murray."

[orchid_vosq_scurvydogs_0070_echo_mercer] "Don't worry about Murray. He'll be fine. Until he finds out I'M the one who killed his parents. But they were dicks, so, whatever."

[orchid_vosq_smellslikevictory_0010_echo_mercer] "Mercer here -- I just finished cooking up a badass meal of gasoline and shoe polish, but nobody can enjoy it with Shiv-Spike around. Have you met Shiv-Spike? He's our radio operator. You should go meet him. "

[orchid_vosq_smellslikevictory_0020_echox_shivspike] "I WILL PUKE BLOOD INTO YOUR SOUL!"

[orchid_vosq_smellslikevictory_0030_echo_mercer] "Kind of an asshole, isn't he? And beyond that, he smells like a corpse somebody vomited up. I wanna feed Shiv-Spike to the sand grubs, but he stinks so bad, they won't eat him. Get some condiments; we gotta make Shivvy look appetizing."

[orchid_vosq_smellslikevictory_0040_echo_mercer] "Got some condiments? Great. Bring that stuff back here and we'll try to mask the stink."

[orchid_vosq_smellslikevictory_0045_echo_mercer] "Just slather Shiv-Spike in those condiments. It'll be gross, but at least...it'll...eh, I guess it'll just be gross."

[orchid_vosq_smellslikevictory_0050_echox_shivspike] "YOUR LUNGS WILL HOLD MY FUTURE CHILDREN!"

[orchid_vosq_smellslikevictory_0060_echox_mercer] "Great! Now just push him into the sand and let the sand grubs do the rest."

[orchid_vosq_smellslikevictory_0070_echox_shivspike] "I AM A SENTIENT COLLECTION OF HATRED AND FECES!"

[orchid_vosq_smellslikevictory_0080_echox_mercer] "Y'know, I think I'm gonna miss him. Anyway, good job. Come on back."

[orchid_vosq_smellslikevictory_0090_echox_mercer] "Actually, you know what? I don't miss him at all."

[orchid_vosq_speedoflove_0010_echo_shade] "[as Natalie] Hi, I'm Natalie and I love a man who can go very fast. Go drive your skiff around in circles very quickly. I find this sexually attractive."

[orchid_vosq_speedoflove_0020_echo_shade] "[as Natalie] You are very good at driving fast, va-va-va-voom. I am sexually -- you are attractive. To me. Thank you."

[orchid_vosq_speedoflove_0030_echo_shade] "[as Natalie] You drove so very fast! Come back to me so I can tell you how great you are. "

[orchid_vosq_wingman_0010_echox_shade] "Friend, I have a...sensitive matter. You have met Natalie, yes? The town sexpot? She and I, you could say, are ...an item. I planned to make her my wife, but I lost the engagement ring. Could you find it for me, please?"

[orchid_vosq_wingman_0020_echox_shade] "You have found the ring? Oh, happy days -- please, I feel too shy to propose myself; could you do me the favor of asking Natalie to marry me?"

[orchid_vosq_wingman_0030_echox_shade] "Just slip the ring onto her finger and see what she says."

[orchid_vosq_wingman_0040_echox_shade] "[as Natalie] Oh, Shade! Marriage?! This is moving so fast -- and you know I don't believe in marriage! I am sorry, Shade, but the answer is no!"

[orchid_vosq_wingman_0050_echox_shade] "[as Shade] She said NO?! Oh, woe is me! I gave you my HEART, Natalie! Return to me, friend. At least you have not betrayed me yet."

[orchid_vosq_wingman_0060_echox_shade] "Stuck-up bitch."

- Love, Xander